His Village, Take 1 (Daddy)

Dear Monster,

          I have been home with you for five of the seven days a week for a couple of weeks now. Some things that I've noticed?
(1) You make about 15 different faces a day that make you look exactly like your Daddy.
(2) You are helpful, you share, and you love to make people laugh (honestly, I was always worried that I would raise a child that ended up being a jerk, so you are totally blowing Mom's mind with this).
(3) You now call out for Mommy first in the morning and after naps (brings a little tear to my eye each time as I use to be third or fourth on the list).
(4) You are ridiculously smart. I don't know where it's coming from but damn...you're going to have so many nerdy little girlfriends or boyfriends.
(5) You are very affectionate and emotional. You give kisses at least 20-30 times a day. You kiss the cat, the dog, the car, your water bottle, Mom, Dad, anyone that is around really. You love love and that makes me quite happy.
(6) You and I are gonna be just fine. I have been so worried over the last couple of years that there was something missing between us. Some connection that might have been lost because I was constantly told to not get excited about you while I was pregnant, or because I wasn't able to breastfeed like I wanted, or because you were in the NICU for so long. I have been stressing about this for so long I don't know even remember what it feels like to not worry about it. The last few weeks have saved my little heart. You and I click. Not like you and Daddy (you guys just get each other's weird), but we have our own language now and it is everything that I hoped for. Thank you, Little Son, for being so patient with me.
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Alright Readers! I'm starting a new section called "His Village". I named it thusly because of a proverb that I believe in to the very depth of my soul : "It takes a village to raise a child."

So, in this little section you will be meeting and hearing random blogs from Liam's Village. You have heard A LOT from me (thanks again for continuing to come visit), so I think, this time, I'll let you hear from Liam's Dad. My husband is pretty freaking fantastic. There just isn't enough time or space on this thing to explain the love, devotion, and all around awesomeness that is Sean. So, every once in a while, I'm gonna let him have some time on here, let you see a little somethin' somethin',  and y'all can cast your own votes.

Without further ado, the love of my love and Liam's amazing Dad, Sean! (OH! And Happy Valentine's Day! hehehe):

Girl Power

To get things started, we need to get some things straight.  Clear the air.  Get the gremlins out.  I never have, nor will I ever be anti-woman.  Females can do whatever the hell they want.  If they want to run giant companies and make millions of dollars, go get it.  If they want to strap a giant gun around their shoulders and go kill terrible people in the name of their country, have at it.  All things are awesome and possible.  That said, my wife has been a part-time working, stay-at-home home for a few weeks now, and it makes me happy.  So, let’s talk.

First, I would not make my wife stay at home no more than I would make her work.  It comes down to a family decision because we have to make sure everything will be taken care of financially, but if the money will be where it should be without her working and she wants to stay home with the boy, there is no reason for her not to.  If things were reversed in position, there wouldn't be a problem there either.  I would love the chance to stay home with my son and be Superdad all the time, my wife working hard out of the home, but right now that’s not how things sit with us, and I’m okay with that.

Currently, my wife is working on school to get her certification as a Veterinary Technician.  It’s a bit frustrating on one hand because before starting school, she would train new techs coming into her clinic that would make more money than her once the training period was over simply because they had a piece of paper stamped with “certified.” Knowledge is power except when certification or college is nonsensically required for the pay you deserve.  So, my wife is back in school and going gang busters.  It’s all very exciting, and her excellent pace is now in much thanks to only working a couple days a week.

Apart from school, working less has also, of course, lessened my wife’s stress in general.  This comes from two edges of the sword.  First, my son.  He is a wonderful little boy, but he can be a tough nut to crack for a lot of people.  For me, he’s just like me, so ever since he had a personality, I have understood him.  We’re like Elliot and ET.  Harry and Voldemort.  Picard and the Borg.  The last couple are a little arch-nemesis-y, but you get the idea.

A great example was quite recent.  I was playing the latest Devil May Cry in which there are things called lost souls to collect.  Of course these lost souls are top-torsos trapped in hard-to-reach places and secret rooms.  In surround sound, you can usually hear them before you see them.  I tracked one down, collected the tally on my level score, not saying a word, and kept walking.  Down another hallway, I heard another.  I rounded the corner, looked up, and there it was.  My son, sitting in my lap the whole time, looks up and says, “Daddy hear it?”  Yes, son.  Daddy heard it.  I hadn’t spoken to him about how I was finding the soul torsos, but he understood.  He heard it in my brain and then we talked about it.

Coming back to my wife and most other people, Liam is as weird as me and sometimes just as hard to understand as I am.  When my wonderful wife only had a couple days a week with him, they were often not fun.  She didn’t have a grasp on some of the intricate and slightly-insane feelings he would get.  When this happens with a toddler, anyone that’s played the game knows a toddler misunderstanding turns into a Braveheart-sized battle.  Someone is getting beheaded and no one is getting their freedom.  With several days with him every week, though, Mom and Monster have an understanding.  They have great days together almost every day.  She has had the time, stress free, to push through his quirks and find what makes him tick.  Just like spending the last many years with me, she knows that the boy and I are crazy but understands which tracks the crazy trains are going to follow.  For my part, I feel less stress as well.  Happy wife does indeed equal happy life, and if the wife and son are happy, the whole house is happy.

The second point of the happy wife comes from much more general things, but it makes the entire family less stressful.  In part, it comes from a stress-free husband.  Coming home to a house where there aren’t things left for me to do seems maybe unbalanced.  I do still do dishes and help with whatever is undone when I get home, but most things are already checked off the list when I get off work.  Mentally, this shifts everything around, but getting past the kick in the teeth of feeling like you don’t do anything, the flip-side is actually quite logical and comfortable.  My job feels more important because it gives us the bulk of the money for what the family needs.  What my wife does at home is elevated because it makes the entire family, for no simpler word, better.  Happy wife, happy son, happy husband.  To quote the Lego Movie (fantastic, by the way), “everything is awesome.”

Even my friends at work can see the difference.  I become excited to get home and work harder to do so as my wife informs me of dinner plans.  Cupcakes and cookies for my close co-workers are their own rewards and stem directly from my wife’s ability to chill her brain and enjoy some for-fun cooking just because she wants to.  Even on weeks like this where I will make a couple days of overtime because of longs days every day, my stress is instantly gone as soon as work is done.

I asked some friends about it all.  I worried that I had become one of THOSE guys.  Putting my woman in her place.  My wife is my property.  Barefoot and pregnant (physically impossible at this point, but I’ll keep trying).  All those things that I hate even being ideas in people’s heads.  My friend Vergo had a story that summed it up best.

In college, he had a good friend that was part of his drama department, Vergo being a theater major.  She was in drama for fun while schooling to be a lawyer.  Aced the exams, was hired by an amazing firm, top spot in said firm, name on the park bench, top to bottom the definition of girl power.  When she had her baby, she dropped it all and became a stay-at-home mom.  Many in their circle of friends shunned her, thinking that “the man” had won again and put “the woman” in her place.  She stepped up and stood up for herself with a couple big middle fingers and said that it was her choice to take on the hardest and most rewarding job of her life.  She took pride in every single minute she was able to give her family.  No one could take that away, and there was nothing anyone could do or say to prove to her that being a mom was a step down by any means.

As Vergo told me her story, I felt better, because it meant I was not alone in appreciating my wife.  To me, what she is doing for my family is amazing.  I never questioned it, but I never expected such epic results so quickly.  As the Monster moves into school and is no longer home all the time, her school will be finished and her career can slip right back into full focus, but right now, what she is doing is amazing.  I am elated to see her and my son getting along so well.  My stress is lessened by massive doses knowing that dinner, chores, and the first beer after work are already planned out.  It is all amazing.

With that, I raise this beer on my day off to my wife.  You have always amazed me, and now you’ve broken into all new levels of, “I’m pretty sure I don’t deserve this level of awesome but if I don’t mention it maybe it will keep happening.”  Thank you, my love.  I will try my damndest to make you as happy and content as you make me.

My New Favorite Thing, Take 1

Dear Monster,

      Before you came along, I was able to rest easy without worrying about leaking spouts, BPA, things being "Spill-Proof", how well things would travel with us, or how easy something was to clean. Oh, the joys of parenthood! You have been a struggle to find bottles, sippy cups, and regular cups for. You're so picky and stubborn. If you don't like something, I might as well just give up, because you know how to put up a darn good fight. So, your father and I have learned that if we find something that you like we need to buy it in every size, shape, and color. This has left us with a lot of things that you have used for a week and grown out of. Well, at least Arc knows us now. he he he. But after all the struggles, I think we found something that we can stick with for more than two weeks or so...FINALLY!
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Readers! Hello again! I absolutely HAD to write today. I have been debating back and forth about what I was going to write about for the last 3 days or so but I had a "light bulb" moment when my son hurled his drinking cup across the kitchen and, after some time-out time, I made my decision. So, I bring to you My New Favorite Thing:

Contigo!

I just can't say enough! I love love love love love this company! As you read above, my son is impossible to buy for when it comes to liquid dispensing. When he was using a bottle, we went through at least 5 brands of bottles before we found the right one. Then came sippy cups and God help us if we didn't have the Tommee Tippee ones because it was going to be a fight. So, now we are trying to move onto something a little bit more grown up for our little monster and we stumbled upon Contigo. 

My husband originally found a two pack of their 16oz AutoSeal Stainless Steel Travel Mugs at CostCo. I fell in love. I use it everyday that I can for my tea or coffee and it DOES NOT LEAK! I'm going to say this again, IT-DOES-NOT-LEAK!! I have kicked this thing out of my car (on accident of course....don't ask), knocked it over at work, and generally dropped it about a thousand times and not a drop was lost. *swoon* So, naturally, when we were looking for the next step in drinking apparel for our little monster we went to the same wonderful company. We were not disappointed. Check this little guy out! :

14oz. AutoSpout Kids Striker Water Bottle

This has been our life saver! We have three of them. One in blue and two in green (they also come in shades of purple and pink). My son adores the button and the AutoSpout! They are BPA free, the spout tucks under a nice cover when not being used, the lid automatically seals between sips so there are no leaks, and this bad boy comes with a lifetime guarantee! That lifetime guarantee has got to be one of my favorite features due to my son's never ending attempts to destroy this thing. Throwing, spinning, hitting the button again and again and again and again, munching on the mouth piece, and trying his hardest to get the thing to spill everywhere. Nothing, absolutely nothing, has been able to cause even the slightest leak or spill. It makes me want to cry. And of course, once I saw how amazing my son's were, I had to go get one for me and one for my husband (pink and grey of course). I fill mine at least three times a day, and the husband has been drinking water like a freaking camel thanks to his. 

So, now that I have screamed, jumped, and yelled like a fan girl, lets find out a little about this company shall we?

At the very heart of Contigo is an unending desire to make our lives easier, and if they can help the planet while they're doing it, why not? After watching every video and reading every single thing I can about Contigo I repeatedly hear about their drive for innovation, and quality. Their basic business plan is much like all the others: find a problem and solve it. If someone else has a solution, improve on the solution my making it healthier for the planet, easier for the consumer, and more affordable. With unique technological developments like AutoSeal, AutoSpout, and the Shake & Go Tumbler, who wouldn't be excited about this company? While in the housewares department you will want to look for the brand name Contigo, but if you're wandering around in the outdoor or sporting goods department you'll want to look for Avex. Same Mom, different Dads so to speak. 

So, what all do they offer? Let's see:

We'll start with Mugs! They have both Travel and Desk mugs. All lids and most mugs are top rack dishwasher safe. All of the mugs have vacuum insulation to keep cold drinks cold for up to 20 hours and keep hot drinks hot for up to 7 hours. Most have double walled stainless steel construction to limit condensation, which makes for less slipping out of the hands (thank goodness, cause I'm terrible about that). The mug that we have is capable of single-handed operation with the use of a button to open and close the spout. Luckily, the button toggles to lock so there is no accidental button pressing and spillage of precious coffee at 5:40 am. Take a look at the mugs, there is something for everyone!

Onward to Water Bottles! Okay, just a heads up, there are about a million different options for water bottles so you'll have to sort through to find what's best for your lifestyle. Luckily, on the homepage, there is this wonderful "Help me choose" button that, literally, walks you through finding the right mug or water bottle for you. I mean, could they make it any easier? I will say that all of the plastic water bottles are BPA free, dishwasher safe, have a wide mouth so you can add ice easily, and some even come with an clip for easier transport! A couple of the more unique water bottles have a built in compartment to hold a gym card, keys, or water additives. Some are even double lined for preservation of temperature. Go take a look!

Best of all, the mugs and water bottles are reasonably priced. Ranging from $6.50-$27 there is something for every budget. OH, and you'll love all of the colors! Something bright and wonderful or dark and brooding for every member of the family!

So, what do you think? Do you own any Contigo product? Do you think you will soon? Do you have an absolute favorite water bottle or travel mug company? Let me know! See you next time guys.

Crunchy, Chewy, Silky? I'm already confused...

Dear Monster,

     I'm going to admit that on several occasions over the last 2 1/2 years I have made mistakes. I have done things that I definitely wouldn't do again if I could just jump back in time. But, your father and I are first time parents and raising you is, as they say, like herding cats. We can do as much research as we want but when it comes right down to it, every single child is different and situations come at you rapid fire with no warning. One thing we need you to remember is that every single decision we made, even the ones we would go back and change, we did out of love for you. How much we love you and how much of that love went into those decisions should never, ever be a question in your mind. You were at the very beginning and the very end of every decision we have made since you joined our little family. Everything we do and every decision we make now, in some way, will eventually effect you. Please remember that your father and I take that very seriously. We just love the crap outta you and we really are trying to do everything "right", however that may be....
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Hello again my wonderful readers. Today I am coming to you with an immediate apology for some very poor behavior and Fellow-Parent etiquette on my end. Here is my very sad and humble confession: A few days ago a co-worker of mine asked for some advice on a gift to get a "crunchy" friend. My first thought was, "Oh boy, those guys...what CAN you get them that they won't return and trade for something safer or more green?" AAAAHHH!! How could I?? I immediately reprimanded myself and got into a better mind set (PS My advice to said co-worker? Teething Bling). I KNOW it is not my place to ever question to practices or opinions of other moms (unless the child is suffering, of course) and I had been doing just that when it came to Crunchy Moms! Bah! *shaking my head* Right then and there I resolved to truly dive deep into what it meant to be a Crunchy Mom. To really get some research done and find out what it was all about. The hows, the whys, and the nitty gritty of it all. Obviously, Crunchy Parenting is not just some crazy fad, as it has been around for a very very long time and it produces happy, healthy, wonderful little kids! So, what was my hang up? Why the judgmental awfulness? I'll tell you: rumors, gossip, and the fact that I hadn't seen it in action for myself. None of which are good spots to make opinions from. So, I have spent the last 3 days digging deep, doing some in depth research, talking with some Crunchy Mamas and getting the facts. You know what I found? Nothing. They aren't crazy, weird, or deranged in any way. In fact, most of the Moms do it because it is just easier, cheaper, and more efficient for them in the long run. *shrug* Who'd have thought? That's why I do parenting my way as well!

Alright, so I'm sure many of you are scratching you head and wondering what the heck Crunchy, Chewy, and Silky parents are. So, here's the general run down. (Side note: I'm not big in to sweeping generalizations or categorizing people. Just doesn't feel right. So, the things that I am putting in these lists are the ones that I have seen an entire general consensus on and that the separate groups generally agree on. Still feels weird for me but here we go)

You are generally considered to be a Crunchy Parent if you do most or all of the following (keep in mind, this is only the short list of things that most Crunchy parents agree should be here):

• Attachment parenting
• Co-Sleeping or you have a Family Bed
• Baby Wearing
• Cloth Diapering/Wipes or Elimination Communication
• Home Birth or you gave birth at a hospital but used a midwife or Dula and NO medication  
• Delayed Cord Clamping
• Exclusive or Extended Breastfeeding, also practice "Baby Led Weaning"
• Delayed, Selective, or Exempt vaccinations
• Holistic or Alternative Medicine
• Vegetarian or Vegan feeding once eating solids
• Homeschooling or Unschooling
• Natural, Toxin-Aware, or Non-Plastic products
• TV free or Limited Media Family
• Organic gardening or Organic-only purchasing
• No Circumcision
• Placenta Consumption (*general consensus is that this is rare but highly important to the parents that do it*)
• Make your own clothing
• Make your own cleaning products or personal hygiene products, "No Poo" system
• Use Family Cloth
• Free Range Children

Alright. Ready for some Silky parenting guidelines?

• Hospital Birth (usually with medical staff and sometimes with medicinal support)
• Crib sleeping
• Strollers
• Disposable diapers and wipes
• Bottle feed or part-time breastfeeding (usually package breast milk in bottle for travels outside the home)
• Formula feed
• Cord blood storage
• Full vaccinations on schedule
• Rely heavily on Pediatrician/nursing staff and modern medicines for medical concerns
• Purchased foods (usually omnivorous)
• Public Schooling
• Circumcision 
• Purchased hygiene and cleaning products
• Cry it out system
• Generally full-time working parents
• Non Baby-Talking

Chewy Moms would be somewhere in the middle of all of that. I consider myself chewy for sure!

Now that we have a broad idea of the categories and what they, generally, entail, let's chat it out. Like I said, I consider myself Chewy. I am a firm believer in modern medicine, especially since my son has needed two surgical procedures to repair minor birth defects. My son would not be alive today if not for the doctors and nurses that supported him during his time in the womb, and in the NICU. When he got home, he needed oxygen support and had severe acid re-flux which prescription medication helped with. We had to formula feed because my son was too premature to breastfeed (though I did pump for three months and he received exclusively breast milk while in the NICU) and his specific premature needs were beyond the scope of my breast milk. We have always been on omnivorous family and are currently raising our son that way as well. If he wants to switch it up when he's older, we're all about helping him with that. Coming from a medically oriented background (Mom, aunts, cousins, and uncles in the medical field) we have always been strong believers in following doctors orders. We made sure that our pediatrician had the same general ideas about parenting and child development that we did and we have trusted his every word since then. On the Crunchy side, we didn't want to circumcise but, eventually, that choice was take out of our hands. We try all natural products when possible (cough medicines, teething tablets, amber necklace for teething, all natural cleaning products) but sometimes good ol' 409 is all that's gonna get that stain out. We don't believe in the Cry It Out method, though we had to ride the line a little when Liam was figuring out how to self sooth. We limit media in the home, making sure there is a balance of creativity time with his toys, books, and playing outside in general. Don't get me wrong, my son has his own profiles on Netflix and on our tablets but we try to keep it to a minimum and only as-needed for distraction in public. I so so so wanted to baby-wear but Liam was having none of it, crying every time we even kind of got him in a sling. Though he did well in the Jeep carrier my aunt sent me, it just wasn't practical for wearing around the house.

So, yeah, I'm somewhere in the middle. Like I said before, most parents who are largely in one direction or the other do it because, through all of their tireless research, it is what made the most sense to them and was most efficient for their family. It made their little hearts sing and that's what it all comes down to.

Deciding how to raise a child is such a deeply personal and introspective process. Once you decide to bring a little life into this world, figuring out how you want that child to live and how you want to help shape their world becomes this monster of a decision. If you sit down and think about it, do all of the research, talk to all of the parents that you know, talk to a religious leader (if that's who you are), talk to your parents, and just sit with it, it can become so overwhelming. It can completely panic a perfectly sane person. In the end, if you can come up with any sort of parenting decision or plan, more power to you. There are insane amounts of positive and negative information for every single item listed above and if all you've got figured out is that you think you might use formula or that you are pretty sure you want to co-sleep then good for you! All of it will have to be dealt with eventually and most of the time no one has a plan. Flying by the seat of your pants and hoping your kid comes out a decent member of society on the other side should be the very definition of parenting.

The most important thing about all of this is that all of the Crunchy, Chewy, and Silky parents that I have talked to agree on one simple fact: We are doing the very best we can at what we think is very best for our children. And, honestly. who can argue with that?

Alas, my apology. To the desperately misunderstood Crunchy, Chewy, and Silky Moms. May we all try are darndest to remember that, no matter the process, we are all trying to do the most difficult job on the face of this planet. And that having to dodge judgement, condemnation, and catty fellow-parents is just not something that was part of that job description when we signed up. So, next time a friend whips out some hummus and peppers for her kiddo while your monster is chowing down on animal crackers and peanut butter, take a second to look at your happy, healthy, thriving children and start a conversation. Who knows, you might just turn out a little Chewy yourself.

Hello again...and a goodbye.

Dear Monster,

              My son, my son, my son....you are 2 1/2 and you are everything everyone has ever told me about a two year old. You are exciting, trying, brilliant, filled to the brim with tantrums, constantly seeking new knowledge, emotional, so so so loving, everything I could have ever hoped for, and my worst nightmare. ;) I love you. I truly do. You look at me with those HUGE blue eyes and that "I'm about to cause a lot of trouble" look and you just light up my whole world. I don't know what I would do without you but there are days that a Mom can dream. (just kidding just kidding) You absolutely fill my soul up, my cup truly runeth over. But with running over there is ALWAYS a mess. With the bad always comes the good and the good is 100% worth every single second of the tantrums and frustrations. You are 2 1/2. You are the definition of chaos but the chaos is everything I dreamed of. Your Mom loves every single bit of you. Don't ever forget that.
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MY READERS!! I have so missed you. I, of course, need to apologize for my absence. I went back to working full time and things just got so crazy so fast and my readers were left in the dust. Well, I am back and better than ever! I have so very much planned for our future together! I'm talking book, wine, and movie reviews (with the help of my brilliant husband, of course), relationship and kiddo advice (giving and receiving!), and GIVEAWAYS!! That's right people! GIVEAWAYS!! Who doesn't love a contest, am I right?

So, let's start with a general update. Things in the Mom & Monster world are changing so quickly that it is quite difficult to keep track of everything. My little Monster is 2 1/2 now which is just mind-boggling. 2 1/2! When did this happen? I feel like I was dealing with acid reflux, oxygen tanks, surgeries, baby clothes, monitors, and baby life in general just yesterday! Now we are looking into preschools, learning shapes, colors, numbers, and animals, working our way into 2T clothes, trying out sentences, learning about affection, and starting to understand who Mommy and Daddy truly are in this world. Every day we are seeing, hearing, or saying something new. I am just in a complete panic about how quickly my tiny son is turning into a big kid. How to keep it all recorded? How to truly enjoy all of the little moments when you are so busy just trying to live through them? Well, that's one of the main reasons that I am crawling back on my hands and knees to my faithful readers. You guys always help me enjoy and appreciate the little moments and coming here, to my "blog home", is my favorite way to keep track of it all. Are you ready for my favorite picture so far? Here ya go guys!

This is just my absolute favorite. My little Monster is a complete crack up. He adores making people laugh and will do just about anything to get you to crack a smile. Even during his worst tantrums and most ridiculous moments if you even show a hint of a smile he will give you a sly little look and start laughing with you. I have always said that the most important thing that I look for when it comes to the people that I have in my life is that they can smile and laugh and find some small amount of humor through even the most difficult of times. If you can't laugh, if you can't find hope, if you can't push past the overwhelming negative, then life is gonna be pretty bleak. My son is already learning that laughing is easier than crying and everyone ends up better for the laughing. What an awesome tool he's got going, huh?

Speaking of laughing and trying to find some happiness through the bad times, today was Liam's Nanny's last day. I am going down to part time at work and she is starting school and the timing was just right for us both to take a little step sideways. She has become one of my very best friends so she will obviously still be a vital part of my son's life, she will just move from Miss Candy to Auntie Candy. he he he. But, honestly, it will be different. When she comes over it will be as a friend and Liam won't have entire days that are spent being crazy and learning weird things with Miss Candy. So, I ask you, how do you do this? How do you go from talking for hours with someone about a shared experience, bonding over "dryer time" and "car duty" to telling her about all of the updates, new discoveries, and crazy times. Our amazing Nanny has been with us since just after Liam came home from the hospital. For two years, every Monday and Wednesday, her little self showed up at our house and spent the entire day loving the hell out of our son. She has been there for every single tooth, every single roll and step, every new word, every haircut, every everything! There is not a single thing that she cannot tell you about my son. She could quote you hours upon hours of medicine doses and post-op concerns. She knows every new freckle or boo-boo. She's kissed away countless ouchies and hugged out tons of bad days. She's driven through snow storms, melted in her car on the way to my house during horrible heat waves, downed gallons of NyQuil and vitamin C so she could get over colds so she could spend time with my little son. Hardly ever called in sick. Took him for overnights. Didn't complain (too badly) when the schedule changed at the last minute. Accepted every new crazy thing or weird rule we had for every single new thing Liam was trying. When it comes right down to it, she has been a miracle. Sean and I have been so freaking blessed to have her. Letting us all move forward in different directions has been one of the hardest, most heart-wrenching decisions we've ever had to make. In the end, it is going to be good for everyone all around. But, man........there are just no words. Any help or advice is welcome here!

Alright, so, here is a big thank you to all of the amazing Nannies out there and a huge reminder to families that have those amazing Nannies as part of their clan. It is rare that someone can walk into your life and becomes truly part of the family. It is not always easy. There is always a learning curve. But if you find someone that fits, run with it! Enjoy them and welcome the new family member with open arms and a good paycheck ;)

To wrap it all up, how many of you guys have or are thinking about welcoming a Nanny into your fold? Concerns? Questions? Any and all are welcome. Be honest. Get it out. If you never ask, you'll never know!

*Cheers* To Candice, to my family, to my new and exciting future as a part-time stay at home Mommy, and to my astonishingly loyal readers. Thanks for the patience and the time off. See ya soon!

Easy weight loss and stretch mark reduction...no, really!

Dear Monster,

   I will always say that I am lucky because I only gained 20lbs while I was pregnant with you. However, only 2lbs 7oz of that was actually you! So, after you were born I had some work to do. Loooots of work to do. I'm back to a little less than my pre-pregnancy weight so I'm happy with how I look but my post pregnancy body was NOT something I was warned about. In the end, you're here, you're happy and you're healthy and I would give up my flawless skin and skinny hips for that over and over and over again! Love you HoneyBee!
~~~

POST PREGNANCY WEIGHT!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! Tack onto that the struggles with postpartum depression, stretch marks, and trying to find a desperate moment to sleep...*sigh* Life as a brand new Mom is not what the books and stories make it out to be. Go to google, go to Pinterest, go to the library and there are millions upon million of ideas, tips, and recommendations for how to lose the extra pounds and get back to happy and healthy. I have tried all of them! Diets, work outs, lotions, meditation, naps, reading, writing, talking, quiet moments, bah! Nothing worked 100%.

Well, today I am here to help with TWO things. Weight, and stretch marks! Don't fret, we'll get to the mental health on another day but I find it is easier to feel good on the inside when you are feeling better on the outside. Keep in mind that no woman should ever be ashamed of her stretch marks. It is tangible evidence of just how bad ass our female bodies are. I mean, come on, WE DUPLICATE! If the only evidence of our amazing duplication is that our wonderful curves are a little bit more enhanced and our skin stretches just a little, I think we're still doing pretty damn well!

Let's start with stretch marks! If they are just bothering you to the point of distraction, I have a solution for you that might actually work. I have tried Lanolin, Cocoa Butter, Vitamin E, A&D Ointment, massage therapy...the list goes on and on and on. Through all of this I have found ONE product that works. It made my stretch marks completely disappear! I came upon it through one of my favorite people in the whole world, Miss Lacey, a best friend of mine! We just grabbed one of the massage bars by chance and holy guacamole, was I surprised! Here it is ladies:

Wiccy Magic Muscles Massage Bar

You can purchase this wonderful piece of heaven at any Lush (<~ that link will take you to the Store Locator!) location or you can purchase it online. I don't know why it works, but it did for me. You can't even see my stretch marks! The second best part?? It has drastically reduced my scar from my C-section! It wasn't a beast to begin with but it has brought it down to practically nothing! Even better? It's happened over the last month! AHHH! I love this freaking thing! So, give it a try, see if you like it. Oooo...and it smells like cinnamon! My husband follows me are the house smelling me and calling me his "Cinnamon Wife" for 12 hours after I use this thing! On the site there is a video that explains how to use it, there is a description of what's in it and why, and you can have it in your hot little hand in one week for approximately $17 with shipping! The bar itself is around $11 if you buy it in stores. Oh, and by the way, it lasts f-o-r-e-v-e-r!!

Now that we're working on that problem, lets move onto getting that baby weight off! I'm going to be completely honest with you here...working out and getting back into shape was on the absolute bottom of my worry list post-pregnancy. Finding time between putting bottles together, sleeping, playing, working, doctor's appointments, physical therapy appointments, and living in general was just not even a possibility. So, after trying a ton of different work outs and work our regimens I came to the conclusion that I had one basic problem: Liam. Anytime I would try to work out or go for a simple walk Liam needed or wanted something different and Mommy's ajenda was no longer a possibility. My solution? INCLUDE THE MONSTER! How simple is that? He works great as weight resistance and he has tons of fun sitting with me and flying through the air! Plus, he is constantly growing so I am always being challenged! No plateauing for me! Are you ready for some simple work outs that include your kiddo?? Master Tip: Do these workouts around an hour after your kiddo eats. Don't do it right before food time and absolutely DO NOT do them right after! Vomit city is coming your way if you do. Ha ha ha

Here we go! (Preface: Sorry about the pictures, I'm not a professional and we had to get them while Liam was in a good mood which is rough right now because he is teething and he got vaccines yesterday! Eek!)

Warm up: Baby Dancing! Easy way to get your body warmed up and get you up and moving! Grab your monster (in any position), clench those glutes and walk around your house. Take big steps, take small steps, bounce your monster, just move around in general! You can do this for about 5 minutes.

Full Body Warm Up: Baby Grabs! This generally only works if your monster can stand but you may be able to modify it if you set your little one in a bouncer or swing in front of you. 1) Stand your kiddo up in front of you, and squat down (keep that back straight and don't let your knees go beyond the tip of your toes). 2) Lift your kiddo up so that your arms are straight out in front of you 3) Lift them above your head 4) Hold for a count of three. 4) Slowly lower back down following the same path. If this is your first real attempt at working out you will only want to do about 3 of these to start. You can work up to more as your body re-adapts to true physical activity.

Leg Lowers: 1) Lay flat on your back with your knees straight over your hips and your lower legs parallel to the ground. 2) Lay your kiddo across your lower legs 3) Lower your knees to your chest and lift your shoulders, neck, and head off the floor (Keep that chin up!) 4) Hold for a count of three. 5) Slowly return to the original position. Again, you may only want to do a few of these the first couple of times you do this. Your abs will HATE you tomorrow!

Baby Crunches: I find this one is a little easier for me if I am able to lightly rest my feet on something like the couch or a chair. This is one of Liam's favorites. Master Tip: Give your kiddo a couple of toys to keep him/her busy. He/She is mainly just sitting and watching your face for this one! 1) Stay in your Leg Lowering position but move your monster to sit on your stomach (this helps to remind you to keep your pelvis on the floor and Liam loves it when my abs flex and he moves around because of it!) 2) With your fingertips at the base of your skull for minor support use your abs to bring your upper chest, neck, and head up to say HI to your kiddo (Keep that chin up off your chest!!) 3) Hold for a count of three. 4) Slowly lower back to your original position. Your abs will hate you for this one too!! Only do a few!

Baby Lunges: Keep that toy in your kiddos hands! You'll need it for this one too! 1) Start with your monster in your arms with your feet together and your back straight in a standing position. 2) Lunge forward making sure the knee of your lunging leg in line with the tips of your toes 3) Hold for a count of two. 3) Moving forward, return to your standing position. 4) Repeat with your other leg. 5) Moving forward, return to your standing position. Try to do 3 full sets!

Cool Down: Baby Dancing! Relax and cool down with some more baby dancing. Move slower and with more intention while doing this for a cool down. OH, and you don't have to clench your glutes for this one!



There you have it! I went from 162 to 137 just doing this and watching my calorie intake. It's simple and it lets you have some quality time with your monster. I hope these simple tips can make being a new Mommy even just a little bit easier! Remember you have to love yourself to love others!

Do you have any awesome tips for working out or getting rid of those silly stretch marks? We'd love to hear them!

Happy Saturday!

Here's the thing about boys . . .

Dear Monster,

   I always knew that when I had a child I wanted it to be boy. Don't get me wrong, if you had ended up being a girl I would have loved you just as much, but I just about cried in the office when they told us they were 99.99% sure you were a boy! Your Daddy wanted a boy too so we thought we had hit the jackpot! We had heard and seen some nasty things when it came to raising girls and I knew how horrible I was when I was growing up so girls were just not for us. Little did we know that boys are a roller coaster in and of themselves. I love you son, but there have been and there will be some interesting obstacles in our lives!
~~~

Hello Readers! What a hectic time we live in, yes? Between the east coast and the election and now all this talk of succession! What is this crazy world coming to? Well, I have been burying myself in work and my family lately and I have decided to pop my little head up and see if the all clear signal has been given! As it seems things are now just simmering, I thought I'd throw a blog out and see how everyone is doing.

Liam is growing like a freaking WEED! He is walking, babbling, and working on some baby signing (he's got "binky out", "all done", and "more" all figured out). We're gonna be working on some new signs soon. He claps when things are good or he is happy, and we have finally hit the oh-so-lovely tantrum stage. If the world is not his oyster then it is ending and he is going to let us know about it. We're trying many different methods of dealing with these tantrums but our most consistent and successful method has been to stay calm, speak in quite, low tones and talk him through them. No cuddles, no sympathetic tones, no surrender! He is learning his boundaries well and responds well to us enforcing them so things are working out on that front for the most part.

Our monster eats like a champ! He is up to a couple jars of food at each feeding and a couple of bottles a day. We recently discovered (after some pretty nasty trial and error) that he is intolerant of PediaSure or any kind of store brand version of such. Doesn't matter the flavor. His tummy just does not like it.

We're up to 8 teeth and working on some molars right now. He has made himself bleed a couple times between biting his own fingers and biting his tongue. Trial and error, I guess. He's still rocking his binkie, mainly due to teething. I would like to get binkies the heck out of our lives but they'll be around as long as he needs them. *shrug*

Through all of this growing and developing, I have found that boys are just not as easy as everyone makes them out to be. Sean and I always wanted a boy. ALWAYS. We wanted someone to carry on Sean's lovely last name and we were both looking forward to mud pies, hockey, and rough-housing. Don't get us wrong, you can enjoy all of those things just as easily with a girl but we were both set on a boy! I didn't want any of that "Oh, I can't have a barbie? Well, I hate you forever and I don't love you anymore!". Girls tend to be psychological terrors as little kids and I just wanted none of that. Oh, and that high pitched, almost-to-the-point-that-only-dogs-can-hear-it scream. No no no no no no....

So, needless to say, when we found out that Liam was going to be a boy, we were ecstatic! Oh man, we started buying all the dinosaurs, trucks, manly outfits, and Star Wars things we could find. We decorated his room in Star Wars paraphernalia (which we would have done if he was a boy or a girl), and got ourselves pumped up for life with a little boy...

...then he actually came. Holy Guacamole, no body warned us about the trials and troubles that boys bring screaming into the world with them! Wowza.

So, since we've been parents to our little monster I have been compiling a list. My list of things that they just don't tell you about when you are all bright eyed and hopeful about bringing your bouncing baby boy into the world. A list of things that, if I had been told, I would have had a chance to, oh I don't know, prepare for in some way. I'll preface this list by saying I have never raised a girl. I have pulled as much knowledge from people who have and I have sat in on enough Brag-a-Thons to hear SOME of their trials and a little bit about how they are different but I am no expert. So, some of this list may apply to both genders. Without further ado...

The Thing About Boys:

1. No Down Time: I remember looking through parenting magazines and seeing pictures of my friends with their little girls and they were always curled up with Mom or Dad, or calmly playing with their toys, or off in imagination land. I feel like there is this cord permanently attached to my sons hands and my waist. All day it is up down up down up down around around around. He never just sits down calmly to play with his toys. It is just chaos on wheels all day long. Then he crashes for a little while then BAM! HE'S BACK! He only has two settings: fast and FASTER!

2. Easy Outfits: This one is a benefit for some and a major downer for others. Boys have all of three or four things that they need on to leave the house. They don't make much more for them and people would look at you like a crazy person if you tried to make things for them. Pants: check, Shirt: check, Socks/Shoes: check, maybe a hat or sweater if it's cold: check. Done. Out we go. You don't have to find ruffled underwear or leggings or cardigans over something or other. There's no bows in the hair or earring to match. We're not worried about hats and whether or not they're the precise shade of pink as the shoes. Is it too soon for baby bracelets and what is the difference between leggings and tights? *whew* If they are kind of the same shade and if they repel drool and dirt, it's going on my son. Don't get me wrong, I like to match his clothes and he has super cool hats and shoes that he wears but, man, I have to give it up to Moms that have girls and know how to dress them! I would be lost! Now, if you were looking forward to all that clothing distress, having a boy is going to seem boring and uneventful. However, with all of the other drama that boys bring with them, I will take boring and uneventful when it comes to his clothes ANY DAY!

3. Nothing Like Dad and Son: A lot of people talk about Mother/Daughter Bonding and Daddy's Girls but, in my own personal opinion, there is nothing like watching a Father and his son. Not even the Mother/Son things that I have the absolute joy of experiencing can compare to watching my husband sit around in a Broncos jersey with his matching son while they enjoy the game. Nothing compares to seeing Sean walk Liam through the house and teach him about pictures, microwaves, foods, and mirrors. It just tickles me pink every time. I can't wait to hear about man-to-man talks and see them on Liam's wedding day. Ah!! I just can't wait to see the man my husband is going to help create!

4. Legos, Dinosaurs, and Everything Star Wars: I'm gonna say, right off the bat, as a girl that was raised by three older boys, I am in NO WAY into gender stereotyping. If my son wants to dance, he's gonna dance. If he wants to have a doll, we're gonna buy him the best doll there ever was. I will say that I am a complete SUCKER for the "boy section" of the toy aisles! I love action figures, light sabers, dinosaurs, hulk fists, and LEEEEEGGGGGGGGGOS!!!!! We're still in the "Duplo" stage because Liam will full on eat anything smaller but I LOVE THEM! And I love that Liam loves them! He brandishes his wooden sword while he walks around the house, he loves having his dinosaurs all lined up for him to play Godzilla with and throw across the room. I love blue, green, and red hues everywhere in my house (This is coming from one of the biggest fans of pink that you'll ever meet). I will say that I was a little surprised at how quickly all of this "boy stuff" overran my home. It escalated quickly. Veeery quickly....

5. Rough EVERYTHING: Rough play, rough tantrums, rough touching, rough throwing. Even rough cuddling. Between hurling things across the room, banging as loud as he can on everything until it shatters, dropping everything off of everything, screaming, grunting, hitting, rolling, running, banging, banging, banging, and the general rough-housing, I am in a world of intensity. We specifically asked his Physical Therapist if this was normal and all she said was, "Yep. You have a one year old boy." *sigh* I was not ready for this. I feel like I say and demonstrate "Gentle" all stinking day. "no no no No No NO NO NO NO NO NO GENTLE GENTLE GENTLE.....no no no No No No NO NO NO NO!!!" All day...every day. Please know that with this rough and tumble lifestyle comes broken items and messy messy days. If, in the beginning, you are accepting that, at any given moment, whatever you find important or sacred may just shatter into a million pieces or become covered in some kind of nasty substance, your life as a mother of a little boy will go a lot smoother.

6. Silly Moods and Faces: My son has the weirdest sense of humor. You may think that a one year old doesn't quite have a sense of humor, but they can and do. The most random things make him laugh but usually it is something breaking or someone getting hurt. This is something that I work on with him. I don't want him to think it's funny when Mommy drops an entire box of Cheerios and it spills all over the floor. It's a little hard to do while Mommy is laughing at herself but it must be done. Teaching Liam that it's not funny when Mommy stubs her toe on the side of the couch and jumps around in pain for 5 minutes is important but very difficult to do while trying to hold back the immediate tears that spring to my eyes. I, also, have never met a kid that makes more insane faces than my son. He is always growling and spitting, squishing up his face or opening his mouth as wide as he can just to see how wide it can go. He is just figuring out how things work and seeing what sort of sounds he can make and how loud he can make them but, occasionally, I fear he is already losing his mind. These weird sounds and faces will inevitably transition into fart jokes and utter destruction but we will handle that when it happens. One day at a time...

7. Slow and Steady: Boys are stubborn as ROCKS. It is absolutely 100% pointless to try to force a boy to do anything! They all say it's best to let kids do things on their own time but boys seem to be particularly obstinate. Try to get him to walk and he will spend an extra week crawling, out of spite I'm sure. Try to give him foods that he SHOULD be able to eat and he'll choke on them and throw up...even though he has big strong teeth that you know he knows he can chew with. Try to potty train before he gives you the heads up and you are, most definitely, getting pee in your favorite shoes. Why? Why are boys like this? I'm absolutely positive that they're taking after their fathers. ;)

8. Hockey and Football Rule the House: He may not like them when he grows up and I'm sure that it's just because of the constant chaos of the sports but my son will sit with my husband and watch HOURS of football and hockey without fussing or complaining even once! But when Mom tries to get him to watch his Reading Videos he is out of my lap and running around like a tornado within minutes! What is happening here?? I've heard that it's all about attitude. Maybe I speak in a different tone than Sean or I am more tense than Sean while watching the videos but man...sports are definitely the winner in this house.

9. MOTHER OF THE GROOM! WOO!: Yay for Father of the Bride paying for the wedding! Ha! In this day and age I'm sure things are more balanced when it comes to paying for the wedding, especially if Liam ends up marrying another man. Oh no!!! Who pays then??? Oh well. It'll all work out. But, please please please let us only have to pay for napkins or something! Parents that were looking forward to helping their daughter plan their big, beautiful day may be struggling with some major disappointment on this one but, hopefully, you will have a great relationship with your son's future bride (or groom) and you can help as much as she (or he) will allow. Or you'll be graced with a son that is all about wedding planning and you'll get to be on the ground floor for it all anyway! All I know is that I'm more than happy to sit back and let the catastrophe that is wedding planning play out before me with little to no involvement. Yessssss.

10. Sometimes a Boy Just Needs a Hug: Society says that boys are suppose to be more rough and tumble and that they need to work things out on their own so that they learn how to be men. I can tell you that that is bunch of bull honky and that sometimes a boy just needs a hug and quite possibly a snuggle. As with any child, my son needs to learn to have the confidence to comfort himself and get himself back to a normal emotional level but there is definitely a difference between stumbling while he's walking and him actually falling down a step. His type of cry is usually a good indicator of which level he needs. You also need to know that this fact will never change. Up until his dying day, a boy or a man, will sometimes just need a stinking hug. Let him hug it out. Comfort him. Let him know that it is okay to feel his feelings and work through them with someone else. These will be the most valuable lessons you can give him for his future as a grown man.

So, there it is. Keep in mind that this is a Beta list as I only have a one year old. This list will continue to mature and grow as Liam does.

Are you a parent of a daughter? What would you put on your "The Thing About Girls . . ." list? Anything you didn't see coming?

Any parents of sons out there that want to add something to the list? Let me see 'em! I can't wait!

As always, I leave you with a picture of my terrible terrible monster man. Happy Tuesday everyone!

Weight Management: Boys vs Girls

Dear Monster,

   I love you son. I truly do. I have loved you from the very first moment that I knew you existed and I will love you every single second of my life.....Please remember that as I tell you that I may never forgive you for what you did to my body. *sigh* I love you, but there are some things that just stay with you, and this one is forever. :P
~~~

Hello Readers! It is that wonderful, magical time of year where the clouds roll in, the temperature drops, and all you want to do it curl up in a giant sweater and drink hot chocolate. So, that has been my agenda on my days off from work. Curl up with the monster, put something good on the TV, and stay warm and comfy all day. This would all be fine and dandy if my husband wasn't lapping me again and again and again on our weight loss goals! Not only did I want to work off all of my baby weight (luckily, with having a premature kiddo, I only gained 20lbs) but I wanted to tighten up what was left when all the weight was gone. Cardio was very important for me as I had been on bed rest for around two and half months. Post pregnancy I couldn't even walk out to the mailbox and back without getting winded! It was strange for me, coming from a very active and healthy background, to feel fat, exhausted, and hopeless. Devastating is a good word for it.

So, after sulking for a few months (I'd like to slide in a little thanks to my husband for never pushing me or commenting on my poor body condition), I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, made a diet plan with my husband, and started my new, healthy lifestyle. It wasn't a drastic lifestyle change as Sean and I have always tried to lean toward the healthier side when it comes to our meal planning. We basically started buying the "lite" or "fat free" versions of foods and drinks we already had around the house. We started eating smaller, more frequent meals, and working out regularly. No 5Ks here, just simple sit ups, lunges, and some light cardio. I found a great site that showed me some simple, everyday work outs that I could do that included my Monster and made working out SO much easier. Liam loved it, and I was loosing weight! I struggled with the diet change for a while. My poor co-workers got sick of hearing "I'm HUNGRY!!!!" and "Gah! I feel like I'm STARVING!!". Eventually my body got use to the change in eating patterns and the work-outs became a lovely habit and I started loosing weight and feeling fantastic! I went from 164 (my heaviest) to 143! 21lbs! Holy Guacamole! I was so stinking proud of myself! I had more energy at work, I was able to go go go all day with Liam (he was starting to crawl at this time), and my husband was chasing me around the house like a silly high schooler! Life was wonderful!

Then things started slipping...for me. I would miss a chance to snack at work, or I'd come home too late for dinner and my Monster Work Out Time. In ONE WEEK I gained back 7lbs! INSANITY! I was livid, confused, embarrassed, and just done done done! What made this all 100 times worse was that I was sleeping next to my husband every night who had had the same rough week that I had and he was STILL LOOSING WEIGHT! COME ON NOW!!! NOT FAIR!!!

Back to sulking. For several months.

After being crabby and indignant for a couple of months (again, a shout out to my amazing husband for his patience and understanding) I started to wonder about the science behind it. It just wasn't adding up in my head. Sean had missed the same amount of work out time, he'd eaten the same "not so much in line with the diet" meals that I had, and he was just as stressed. We were living the same lives and our bodies were doing two totally different things. What the heck was going on here?

Insert my brilliant husband and his random knowledge: "The average adult woman has to work out for an hour a day, just to maintain her current weight and body condition." You hear that right ladies?? Just to MAINTAIN! Not even improve, just maintain! How is this possible??

Insert my days and days and days of research which led me to this little gem: On average, women's total energy expenditure, which is the number of calories burned for metabolic needs, including breathing, blood circulation, digestion and physical activity, is around 5 to 10 percent lower than men's.

In other words, when a woman is just sitting and doing nothing next to a man who is doing the same, her body is burning 5-10% less calories than his! *facepalm* Whhhhhhhhhhhhhy?

Scientists believe this is partly due to body composition. Ready for the science? Here ya go: Body Composition, that is the amount of muscle, bone and fat that make up the body, are quite different between men and women. Men, in general, have more muscle mass, heavier bones and less body fat than women. For example, a typical man in his twenties who weighs 154 pounds, has 69 pounds of muscle, 23 pounds of bone and 23 pounds of fat. A typical women of the same age who weighs 125 pounds, has 45 pounds of muscle, 15 pounds of bone, and 34 pounds of fat. The recommended percentage of body fat for a woman is between 20 to 30 percent which is thought to be higher for childbearing, while the recommended range for a man is between 12 to 20 percent. Because of these differences in muscle mass, men burn more calories than women at rest. 

Another theory has to do with actual body shape, including where the fat is stored and how the fat is metabolized in that area. Here's some more science speak for ya: Some people carry more of their body fat in and around the abdominal area. This type of fat deposition is called android, or apple body type and is most characteristic among males. The body type most common among females is the gynoid, or pear body type. This body type is characterized by fat stores in the hip and thigh region. The scientific explanations for the dramatic difference in body fat distribution between men and women are largely unknown, although differences in hormones, hormone receptors, and enzyme concentrations play a contributing role.

The article goes on the explain that with the gynoid body type the fat is not metabolized as well by the surrounding systems. *le sigh*

After wrapping up my research and eating ten thousands cookies in righteous indignation speaking with my doctor I finally accepted that I was just going to have to work slightly harder and be slightly more consistent than my husband when it came to my weight loss.

Ladies, we have had to work a little harder than men for just about everything else (voting, working, pay, insurance, medical care, respect in the work place, etc., etc.) so we shouldn't be shocked or disheartened by this news. Just stack it on top of everything else we have to bust our rumps to be great at and move on! Run an extra 20 minutes, stretch just a little bit longer, and eat just one more salad and you'll be right there with him!

Cheers to my ladies who are making it work and working it out! Now that I understand my body a little better it has made my lifestyle changes that much more important and working a little bit harder that much easier! In the end, I'm doing it for my future and the future of my family. Totally worth it, am I right?

Having pictures like this one up while I'm working out does tend to help as well! <3

Do you have a work out regimen? Do you have any tips that might help other women out? Have you struggled with weight loss? Let me hear your stories and tips!

Happy Friday Everyone!