Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Love Thy Nerd, Part 1

Dear Monster,

           Your Daddy is brilliant! It is important for you to know and understand this as you go through life with him teaching you all of the very important things that you will need to know as a man in this world and as a human being in general. You'll need to trust him when he is talking you through your first encounter with a jerk at school, explaining why your first heart break will someday heal, and giving you hard-earned advice on how to be a good husband. Your Daddy is brilliant. I have never doubted him when it came to the important moments we have had together, I have depended on him for most of the vital things in my life, and he has been my constant rock through some of the worst moments I have lived through. In fact, he is the only reason I made it through many of those moments. Again, your Daddy is brilliant...which is why you should listen to him when he tells you something is good.
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Hello readers! Sorry for the lapse in blogs but I was out with the worst stomach flu of all time (in case you haven't noticed, I tend toward the dramatic). My wonderful husband was nice enough to step in and do a movie review for me while I got back on my feet. I promise I will be up and functioning soon but until that time I give you my brilliant husband and one of his movie reviews. Let me tell you, there are a few things in this world the Sean may not be 100% at all the time but when he sees a good movie that rocks him to his core and he recommends it to you, you should probably see the darn movie. As was the case for SUPERMAN: MAN OF STEEL. If you don't like Superman, you don't like superhero movies, or if you just don't like this movie in particular, go ahead and read the review...you may want to take a second look. I have my own issues with this movie but my husband's conviction made me a believer! Without further ado, SUPERMAN: MAN OF STEEL (as reviewed by Sean H.F):

Man of Steel.

50% of the nerds in the world reading this just threw something through a window, and the other 50% will be lost for a bit in thoughts of sights and sounds unexpected.  Even within my circle of friends and family, who often agree on most things nerdy, there is division.  Myself, I find the film surprising, emotional, complex, beautiful, and many other words that could go on and on, but let me be a little more precise and break it down.  Maybe I can get through to some, and maybe others who may still dislike the movie might dislike it just a little less.

First, let us start where most things do, at the beginning.  Superman is born.  More to the point, Kal is born.  This is no pain-free, clap-your-hands-and-fairies-appear magical birth.  This is a sweaty, painful, screaming birth like billions of moms have gone through in mankind’s existence.  Mom is going through hell.  Dad is worried about his wife and son.  Monitors are tracking the health of both, but it is a constant fine line between happiness and horror.  Hand-held cameras track the faces and motions of everything in the room, placing you front row to what is happening.  This is how “Man of Steel” opens and it defines what this movie is.  Right away, I can see people not knowing what they are seeing.  We grew up with Richard Donner’s fantastic, I will repeat, fantastic first Superman movies.  Those deserve write-ups all their own, a couple of which I have already done myself, but in their shadow, a real, in-the-moment picture of Superman being born feels maybe awesome, but still weird at first.

As Kal sits crying in Jor-El’s hands, we then move outside and see a Krypton like never before.  Gone is the Crystal Hoth look and in it’s place is an old and beautiful planet full of worn but astounding technology.  It paints a picture of a place we would want to visit in a heartbeat if it was not about to explode.  Jor-El is the smartest man in the room as he tries to explain to politicians that politicians are stupid (universal and poetic, really) and the planet is doomed beyond repair.  For the first time in a motion medium, Krypton feels older than anything we can even consider to exist in a civilized state.

We have passed through step two of a different kind of Superman.  As Krypton falls, you are either in or out.  Lara El is clutching her son tight, knowing she will never see him again.  These parents are having to say goodbye to their only son forever and the audience feels it.  We may be looking at a different planet, but the emotions before us are real and human.

The second part of “Man of Steel” that makes the movie what it is but may have hit people unexpectedly is the non-linear storytelling used.  Other than the beginning and the final act, the rest of “Man of Steel” jumps around Superman’s life to some of the points that, in no better terms, made him Superman.  Each point touched upon shows some facet of why Superman is better than the rest of us, why he is the hero and leader that everyone should try to be.

A couple of these moments have been points of contention with a friend or two of mine.  They feel that the big reveals of Superman and his powers were not grand enough, but I believe that it is not the point in this movie to make such grand gestures as gestures can end up feeling empty and emotionless.  For my dollar, (because I would buy that for a dollar, screw you Robocop remake), the power moments in the movie that show what the Big Blue Boyscout can do are there to build character and not just to be big moments.  He saves workers on an oil rig because they are going to die without him.  He could have stayed on the crab boat and let them die but he did not.  He, being Superman and all, had to save their lives because his powers allowed him to and his morals pressed him to.  Later, or earlier, when he saves his classmates on a bus, he could have swam out, saved himself, and called it a freak accident that they all died and he survived, but he could not.  Again, his morals stepped in and their lives had to be spared.

In these moments, the script writes us along, getting to know Superman in a logical way.  We see him trying to do good and trying to connect to a humanity that he may never fit into.  We see him as a confused child one moment and then as a powerful but still confused adult a scene later.  There is connection, and it takes us beyond what a linear story could do.  Told in order, he would be a kid with a childhood full of love from his adoptive parents but terrible because of the amazing things his body can do that he has to learn to deal with.  Then he would be an adult trying to hide from everyone.  In the order presented, we connect more just like we do when we think of our own lives.  Every day, it is possible to have a smell or a song or a movie hit you in a perfect way that sends you back to some long-gone time with an ex-girlfriend, a passed relative, or just a great day with an old best friend.  What we see and experience through Superman is just like memories of our own lives.  It draws us in and connects us to this new Superman in a way that we have not seen before, but again, I think many were ill-prepared for the jumping around.

Third on my list would be the main characters themselves and how they exist in this new world, as well as the performances that bring them to life.

Starting with Zod, we see a man bred for one purpose: to lead Krypton’s military and ensure the survival of their people.  Everything he does is for this purpose, which would logically seem to mean a lack of depth, but Michael Shannon brings more to the screen.  He brings a respect for the brilliance and purpose of Superman’s dad and a desire to work together with Superman himself to bring Krypton back to life.  Superman choosing Earth over Krypton is impossible to Zod, so they are instantly at odds with each other.  He is a personality to be both feared and respected and all of that is on screen.

Amy Adams as Lois Lane is brilliant in every sense.  She pulls no punches, is just as plucky as she should be, and connects the dots like no other incarnation has before.  She’s beautiful, yes, and vulnerable to, you know, falling from high heights, but she really only falls and needs saving after kicking major ass.  I would find it difficult for anyone to hate this Lois.

Superman’s parents are all perfect, which I did not expect to the level achieved.  Ayelet Zurer, who apparently by name was actually born on Krypton, plays Lara El as the strong wife and mother that she deserves to be shown as, having given birth to Superman.  Russell Crowe plays Jor El with the power and wisdom that even Brando did not get the chance to show.  He is brilliant but able to kick ass at the exact same time.  Diane Lane is the loving and wise Earth-mom Martha Kent, and Kevin Costner is her husband Jonathan.  These last two are possibly the most important of the side characters and performances because they present the loving parent relationship and the fear of losing the son they love perfectly, to the point of tears in the viewer’s eyes.  Costner, whom I rarely like outside of westerns and baseball movies, has two of my favorite scenes in the entire movie and reminds me of my amazing step-dad.

Let us finally get to Superman.  Henry Cavill is tortured, though somehow less so than Brandon Routh, but he has life behind those eyes and, most importantly, a desire to help people.  He feels for the lives lost (more on this later) and wants humans to trust him.  He doesn’t take up the same physical space as, say, Wolverine and all his muscles, but that doesn’t have to be the point with Superman.  He is not strong because of muscle size, he is strong because of what our yellow sun does to his cells.  His body should look fit, and he does just fine with a little bulk to back it up, but he is not the biggest guy out there.  Still, when he walks through a fiery door or fights a duo of Kryptonians, you believe that he is strong and capable.  Personally, I do not feel it necessary for The Rock to play Superman, though I do wish he would leave some muscles for the rest of us.  Go ahead and watch the last couple Fast and Furious films.  The man is massive.

Characters out of the way, the big Kryptonian in the room is the fights that make up the third act of the movie.  Starting in Smallville, things start exploding very fast, but we will walk through what we see on screen and what I think it should mean to us beyond the shock.

In Clark’s hometown, he steps in just as things are getting rough with Ma Kent.  Being the good son that he is, no one is going to mess with his mom.  His temper is a little high and he has no idea what his powers are capable of in an unbridled fist fight, so destroying most of his small town is sad, but things happen.  He tries to fly away several times, but gets thrown back into the fight, usually quite literally.

In Metropolis, the Kryptonians start the fight again.  No question about that.  The destruction from the gravity machine is massive and terrible.  It is supposed to be.  When it comes down to it, the entire story of Superman being revealed is Close Encounters, First Contact, ET, it is Earth not being alone in the universe.  These aliens are supposed to be exposed as powerful and destructive to show what Superman could be.  If he wanted, he could wipe out anyone that disagrees with him and rule with glowing eyes and an iron fist.  But he does not.  He fights along side us and helps us.  He tries to stop Metropolis from being completely flattened.  The audience is supposed to be awestruck as buildings are smashed to the ground.  This is what the power of Krypton can do.

As Superman and humans fight to win the battle, Zod and Big Blue are finally left to finish what was started.  They are thrown through buildings, buildings collapse, destruction is terrible, but watch again and you’ll see most of the fighting happening in an already-evacuated city.  The buildings are mostly already beginning to fall from destruction out of Superman’s control.  Some of the fight happens in population, but minimal since most were already trying to get out and those seen are most likely coming out because they see the worst is over.  In the final scene with Zod, the people there appear to have been hiding and not expecting supers to crash through the ceiling.

More on the last Zod scene and the ramifications of all the destruction: I refuse to spoil everything, but I see it all as Superman learning hard and early the lessons that will make him a better hero.  In “Man of Steel,” not only is Superman learning his powers, he is learning to connect to a people he has never actually belonged to.  He does not share our weaknesses and fears and is far more powerful than he or anyone else really knows.  The entire third act is Superman learning what he can do and what he can feel.  He finds someone to connect with outside of his parents with Lois as he realizes that he does not want to see humans die by anyone’s hand.  She gives him a hope to connect with and shines a light in the darkness that maybe, just maybe, he could use his powers to help humanity, that Earth could learn to accept and trust him.  This will carry over, but at the same time I feel it is still contained.  This movie does not have the “to be continued” tag at the end because it does not need it, but the story here is built to carry Superman forward with the lessons he learned.

Those are the main points, but then there are the other touches that make “Man of Steel” a beautiful movie apart from performances and writing.  There are shots that mean more, like Clark sitting in the church talking to a priest with stained glass of the Garden of Gethsemane behind him (thank you Catholic school).  There are shots that kick unholy nerd ass, like Superman slowly descending in front of a load of army guys, tanks and all.  There is Zod’s announcement transmission, shot like a world-affecting horror movie.  There’s Hans Zimmer’s score that, though completely unlike John William’s best score in Richard Donner’s set of Supes, fits the action perfectly and translates emotion beautifully.  All this without mentioning the skill behind the handheld look of the film and the polish given to every shot to make Superman real.

This movie makes me emotional.  Every note is different than what we’ve seen, but every note, to me, is perfect.  Superman wants to be good but lacks connection.  When he finally finds that connection, I feel it in every part of me.  Earth has been invaded, but because of Superman, there is hope.  The last shot of Clark and Lois cuts to credits and I want to watch it again.  In fact, I have done that a couple times since it came out on bluray.  I would have watched it again today during my writing, but we just watched it yesterday and my wife doesn’t have the same nerd-repeat tolerance that I do (my record is watching the most recent “Rambo” three times in a row while my wife was at work).

If you watched “Man of Steel” once and did not quite feel it, I beg you to try again with a fresh set of eyes.  Greatness is there.  For my money, it’s up there with the superhero bests, and with those I mean, by name, “Superman,” “X-Men 2,” “Spider-Man 2,” “Watchmen,” “Avengers,” “Dark Knight.”  Give it another watch.  Maybe you will feel the same thing I feel.  Now I will go try to hold back the urge to watch it again.



Thursday, February 13, 2014

His Village, Take 1 (Daddy)

Dear Monster,

          I have been home with you for five of the seven days a week for a couple of weeks now. Some things that I've noticed?
(1) You make about 15 different faces a day that make you look exactly like your Daddy.
(2) You are helpful, you share, and you love to make people laugh (honestly, I was always worried that I would raise a child that ended up being a jerk, so you are totally blowing Mom's mind with this).
(3) You now call out for Mommy first in the morning and after naps (brings a little tear to my eye each time as I use to be third or fourth on the list).
(4) You are ridiculously smart. I don't know where it's coming from but damn...you're going to have so many nerdy little girlfriends or boyfriends.
(5) You are very affectionate and emotional. You give kisses at least 20-30 times a day. You kiss the cat, the dog, the car, your water bottle, Mom, Dad, anyone that is around really. You love love and that makes me quite happy.
(6) You and I are gonna be just fine. I have been so worried over the last couple of years that there was something missing between us. Some connection that might have been lost because I was constantly told to not get excited about you while I was pregnant, or because I wasn't able to breastfeed like I wanted, or because you were in the NICU for so long. I have been stressing about this for so long I don't know even remember what it feels like to not worry about it. The last few weeks have saved my little heart. You and I click. Not like you and Daddy (you guys just get each other's weird), but we have our own language now and it is everything that I hoped for. Thank you, Little Son, for being so patient with me.
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Alright Readers! I'm starting a new section called "His Village". I named it thusly because of a proverb that I believe in to the very depth of my soul : "It takes a village to raise a child."

So, in this little section you will be meeting and hearing random blogs from Liam's Village. You have heard A LOT from me (thanks again for continuing to come visit), so I think, this time, I'll let you hear from Liam's Dad. My husband is pretty freaking fantastic. There just isn't enough time or space on this thing to explain the love, devotion, and all around awesomeness that is Sean. So, every once in a while, I'm gonna let him have some time on here, let you see a little somethin' somethin',  and y'all can cast your own votes.

Without further ado, the love of my love and Liam's amazing Dad, Sean! (OH! And Happy Valentine's Day! hehehe):

Girl Power

To get things started, we need to get some things straight.  Clear the air.  Get the gremlins out.  I never have, nor will I ever be anti-woman.  Females can do whatever the hell they want.  If they want to run giant companies and make millions of dollars, go get it.  If they want to strap a giant gun around their shoulders and go kill terrible people in the name of their country, have at it.  All things are awesome and possible.  That said, my wife has been a part-time working, stay-at-home home for a few weeks now, and it makes me happy.  So, let’s talk.

First, I would not make my wife stay at home no more than I would make her work.  It comes down to a family decision because we have to make sure everything will be taken care of financially, but if the money will be where it should be without her working and she wants to stay home with the boy, there is no reason for her not to.  If things were reversed in position, there wouldn't be a problem there either.  I would love the chance to stay home with my son and be Superdad all the time, my wife working hard out of the home, but right now that’s not how things sit with us, and I’m okay with that.

Currently, my wife is working on school to get her certification as a Veterinary Technician.  It’s a bit frustrating on one hand because before starting school, she would train new techs coming into her clinic that would make more money than her once the training period was over simply because they had a piece of paper stamped with “certified.” Knowledge is power except when certification or college is nonsensically required for the pay you deserve.  So, my wife is back in school and going gang busters.  It’s all very exciting, and her excellent pace is now in much thanks to only working a couple days a week.

Apart from school, working less has also, of course, lessened my wife’s stress in general.  This comes from two edges of the sword.  First, my son.  He is a wonderful little boy, but he can be a tough nut to crack for a lot of people.  For me, he’s just like me, so ever since he had a personality, I have understood him.  We’re like Elliot and ET.  Harry and Voldemort.  Picard and the Borg.  The last couple are a little arch-nemesis-y, but you get the idea.

A great example was quite recent.  I was playing the latest Devil May Cry in which there are things called lost souls to collect.  Of course these lost souls are top-torsos trapped in hard-to-reach places and secret rooms.  In surround sound, you can usually hear them before you see them.  I tracked one down, collected the tally on my level score, not saying a word, and kept walking.  Down another hallway, I heard another.  I rounded the corner, looked up, and there it was.  My son, sitting in my lap the whole time, looks up and says, “Daddy hear it?”  Yes, son.  Daddy heard it.  I hadn’t spoken to him about how I was finding the soul torsos, but he understood.  He heard it in my brain and then we talked about it.

Coming back to my wife and most other people, Liam is as weird as me and sometimes just as hard to understand as I am.  When my wonderful wife only had a couple days a week with him, they were often not fun.  She didn’t have a grasp on some of the intricate and slightly-insane feelings he would get.  When this happens with a toddler, anyone that’s played the game knows a toddler misunderstanding turns into a Braveheart-sized battle.  Someone is getting beheaded and no one is getting their freedom.  With several days with him every week, though, Mom and Monster have an understanding.  They have great days together almost every day.  She has had the time, stress free, to push through his quirks and find what makes him tick.  Just like spending the last many years with me, she knows that the boy and I are crazy but understands which tracks the crazy trains are going to follow.  For my part, I feel less stress as well.  Happy wife does indeed equal happy life, and if the wife and son are happy, the whole house is happy.

The second point of the happy wife comes from much more general things, but it makes the entire family less stressful.  In part, it comes from a stress-free husband.  Coming home to a house where there aren’t things left for me to do seems maybe unbalanced.  I do still do dishes and help with whatever is undone when I get home, but most things are already checked off the list when I get off work.  Mentally, this shifts everything around, but getting past the kick in the teeth of feeling like you don’t do anything, the flip-side is actually quite logical and comfortable.  My job feels more important because it gives us the bulk of the money for what the family needs.  What my wife does at home is elevated because it makes the entire family, for no simpler word, better.  Happy wife, happy son, happy husband.  To quote the Lego Movie (fantastic, by the way), “everything is awesome.”

Even my friends at work can see the difference.  I become excited to get home and work harder to do so as my wife informs me of dinner plans.  Cupcakes and cookies for my close co-workers are their own rewards and stem directly from my wife’s ability to chill her brain and enjoy some for-fun cooking just because she wants to.  Even on weeks like this where I will make a couple days of overtime because of longs days every day, my stress is instantly gone as soon as work is done.

I asked some friends about it all.  I worried that I had become one of THOSE guys.  Putting my woman in her place.  My wife is my property.  Barefoot and pregnant (physically impossible at this point, but I’ll keep trying).  All those things that I hate even being ideas in people’s heads.  My friend Vergo had a story that summed it up best.

In college, he had a good friend that was part of his drama department, Vergo being a theater major.  She was in drama for fun while schooling to be a lawyer.  Aced the exams, was hired by an amazing firm, top spot in said firm, name on the park bench, top to bottom the definition of girl power.  When she had her baby, she dropped it all and became a stay-at-home mom.  Many in their circle of friends shunned her, thinking that “the man” had won again and put “the woman” in her place.  She stepped up and stood up for herself with a couple big middle fingers and said that it was her choice to take on the hardest and most rewarding job of her life.  She took pride in every single minute she was able to give her family.  No one could take that away, and there was nothing anyone could do or say to prove to her that being a mom was a step down by any means.

As Vergo told me her story, I felt better, because it meant I was not alone in appreciating my wife.  To me, what she is doing for my family is amazing.  I never questioned it, but I never expected such epic results so quickly.  As the Monster moves into school and is no longer home all the time, her school will be finished and her career can slip right back into full focus, but right now, what she is doing is amazing.  I am elated to see her and my son getting along so well.  My stress is lessened by massive doses knowing that dinner, chores, and the first beer after work are already planned out.  It is all amazing.

With that, I raise this beer on my day off to my wife.  You have always amazed me, and now you’ve broken into all new levels of, “I’m pretty sure I don’t deserve this level of awesome but if I don’t mention it maybe it will keep happening.”  Thank you, my love.  I will try my damndest to make you as happy and content as you make me.


Friday, February 7, 2014

My New Favorite Thing, Take 1

Dear Monster,

      Before you came along, I was able to rest easy without worrying about leaking spouts, BPA, things being "Spill-Proof", how well things would travel with us, or how easy something was to clean. Oh, the joys of parenthood! You have been a struggle to find bottles, sippy cups, and regular cups for. You're so picky and stubborn. If you don't like something, I might as well just give up, because you know how to put up a darn good fight. So, your father and I have learned that if we find something that you like we need to buy it in every size, shape, and color. This has left us with a lot of things that you have used for a week and grown out of. Well, at least Arc knows us now. he he he. But after all the struggles, I think we found something that we can stick with for more than two weeks or so...FINALLY!
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Readers! Hello again! I absolutely HAD to write today. I have been debating back and forth about what I was going to write about for the last 3 days or so but I had a "light bulb" moment when my son hurled his drinking cup across the kitchen and, after some time-out time, I made my decision. So, I bring to you My New Favorite Thing:



I just can't say enough! I love love love love love this company! As you read above, my son is impossible to buy for when it comes to liquid dispensing. When he was using a bottle, we went through at least 5 brands of bottles before we found the right one. Then came sippy cups and God help us if we didn't have the Tommee Tippee ones because it was going to be a fight. So, now we are trying to move onto something a little bit more grown up for our little monster and we stumbled upon Contigo. 

My husband originally found a two pack of their 16oz AutoSeal Stainless Steel Travel Mugs at CostCo. I fell in love. I use it everyday that I can for my tea or coffee and it DOES NOT LEAK! I'm going to say this again, IT-DOES-NOT-LEAK!! I have kicked this thing out of my car (on accident of course....don't ask), knocked it over at work, and generally dropped it about a thousand times and not a drop was lost. *swoon* So, naturally, when we were looking for the next step in drinking apparel for our little monster we went to the same wonderful company. We were not disappointed. Check this little guy out! :



This has been our life saver! We have three of them. One in blue and two in green (they also come in shades of purple and pink). My son adores the button and the AutoSpout! They are BPA free, the spout tucks under a nice cover when not being used, the lid automatically seals between sips so there are no leaks, and this bad boy comes with a lifetime guarantee! That lifetime guarantee has got to be one of my favorite features due to my son's never ending attempts to destroy this thing. Throwing, spinning, hitting the button again and again and again and again, munching on the mouth piece, and trying his hardest to get the thing to spill everywhere. Nothing, absolutely nothing, has been able to cause even the slightest leak or spill. It makes me want to cry. And of course, once I saw how amazing my son's were, I had to go get one for me and one for my husband (pink and grey of course). I fill mine at least three times a day, and the husband has been drinking water like a freaking camel thanks to his. 

So, now that I have screamed, jumped, and yelled like a fan girl, lets find out a little about this company shall we?

At the very heart of Contigo is an unending desire to make our lives easier, and if they can help the planet while they're doing it, why not? After watching every video and reading every single thing I can about Contigo I repeatedly hear about their drive for innovation, and quality. Their basic business plan is much like all the others: find a problem and solve it. If someone else has a solution, improve on the solution my making it healthier for the planet, easier for the consumer, and more affordable. With unique technological developments like AutoSeal, AutoSpout, and the Shake & Go Tumbler, who wouldn't be excited about this company? While in the housewares department you will want to look for the brand name Contigo, but if you're wandering around in the outdoor or sporting goods department you'll want to look for Avex. Same Mom, different Dads so to speak. 

So, what all do they offer? Let's see:

We'll start with Mugs! They have both Travel and Desk mugs. All lids and most mugs are top rack dishwasher safe. All of the mugs have vacuum insulation to keep cold drinks cold for up to 20 hours and keep hot drinks hot for up to 7 hours. Most have double walled stainless steel construction to limit condensation, which makes for less slipping out of the hands (thank goodness, cause I'm terrible about that). The mug that we have is capable of single-handed operation with the use of a button to open and close the spout. Luckily, the button toggles to lock so there is no accidental button pressing and spillage of precious coffee at 5:40 am. Take a look at the mugs, there is something for everyone!

Onward to Water Bottles! Okay, just a heads up, there are about a million different options for water bottles so you'll have to sort through to find what's best for your lifestyle. Luckily, on the homepage, there is this wonderful "Help me choose" button that, literally, walks you through finding the right mug or water bottle for you. I mean, could they make it any easier? I will say that all of the plastic water bottles are BPA free, dishwasher safe, have a wide mouth so you can add ice easily, and some even come with an clip for easier transport! A couple of the more unique water bottles have a built in compartment to hold a gym card, keys, or water additives. Some are even double lined for preservation of temperature. Go take a look!

Best of all, the mugs and water bottles are reasonably priced. Ranging from $6.50-$27 there is something for every budget. OH, and you'll love all of the colors! Something bright and wonderful or dark and brooding for every member of the family!

So, what do you think? Do you own any Contigo product? Do you think you will soon? Do you have an absolute favorite water bottle or travel mug company? Let me know! See you next time guys.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Crunchy, Chewy, Silky? I'm already confused...

Dear Monster,

     I'm going to admit that on several occasions over the last 2 1/2 years I have made mistakes. I have done things that I definitely wouldn't do again if I could just jump back in time. But, your father and I are first time parents and raising you is, as they say, like herding cats. We can do as much research as we want but when it comes right down to it, every single child is different and situations come at you rapid fire with no warning. One thing we need you to remember is that every single decision we made, even the ones we would go back and change, we did out of love for you. How much we love you and how much of that love went into those decisions should never, ever be a question in your mind. You were at the very beginning and the very end of every decision we have made since you joined our little family. Everything we do and every decision we make now, in some way, will eventually effect you. Please remember that your father and I take that very seriously. We just love the crap outta you and we really are trying to do everything "right", however that may be....
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Hello again my wonderful readers. Today I am coming to you with an immediate apology for some very poor behavior and Fellow-Parent etiquette on my end. Here is my very sad and humble confession: A few days ago a co-worker of mine asked for some advice on a gift to get a "crunchy" friend. My first thought was, "Oh boy, those guys...what CAN you get them that they won't return and trade for something safer or more green?" AAAAHHH!! How could I?? I immediately reprimanded myself and got into a better mind set (PS My advice to said co-worker? Teething Bling). I KNOW it is not my place to ever question to practices or opinions of other moms (unless the child is suffering, of course) and I had been doing just that when it came to Crunchy Moms! Bah! *shaking my head* Right then and there I resolved to truly dive deep into what it meant to be a Crunchy Mom. To really get some research done and find out what it was all about. The hows, the whys, and the nitty gritty of it all. Obviously, Crunchy Parenting is not just some crazy fad, as it has been around for a very very long time and it produces happy, healthy, wonderful little kids! So, what was my hang up? Why the judgmental awfulness? I'll tell you: rumors, gossip, and the fact that I hadn't seen it in action for myself. None of which are good spots to make opinions from. So, I have spent the last 3 days digging deep, doing some in depth research, talking with some Crunchy Mamas and getting the facts. You know what I found? Nothing. They aren't crazy, weird, or deranged in any way. In fact, most of the Moms do it because it is just easier, cheaper, and more efficient for them in the long run. *shrug* Who'd have thought? That's why I do parenting my way as well!

Alright, so I'm sure many of you are scratching you head and wondering what the heck Crunchy, Chewy, and Silky parents are. So, here's the general run down. (Side note: I'm not big in to sweeping generalizations or categorizing people. Just doesn't feel right. So, the things that I am putting in these lists are the ones that I have seen an entire general consensus on and that the separate groups generally agree on. Still feels weird for me but here we go)

You are generally considered to be a Crunchy Parent if you do most or all of the following (keep in mind, this is only the short list of things that most Crunchy parents agree should be here):

  • Attachment parenting
  • Co-Sleeping or you have a Family Bed
  • Baby Wearing
  • Cloth Diapering/Wipes or Elimination Communication
  • Home Birth or you gave birth at a hospital but used a midwife or Dula and NO medication  
  • Delayed Cord Clamping
  • Exclusive or Extended Breastfeeding, also practice "Baby Led Weaning"
  • Delayed, Selective, or Exempt vaccinations
  • Holistic or Alternative Medicine
  • Vegetarian or Vegan feeding once eating solids
  • Homeschooling or Unschooling
  • Natural, Toxin-Aware, or Non-Plastic products
  • TV free or Limited Media Family
  • Organic gardening or Organic-only purchasing
  • No Circumcision
  • Placenta Consumption (*general consensus is that this is rare but highly important to the parents that do it*)
  • Make your own clothing
  • Make your own cleaning products or personal hygiene products, "No Poo" system
  • Use Family Cloth
  • Free Range Children
Alright. Ready for some Silky parenting guidelines?

  • Hospital Birth (usually with medical staff and sometimes with medicinal support)
  • Crib sleeping
  • Strollers
  • Disposable diapers and wipes
  • Bottle feed or part-time breastfeeding (usually package breast milk in bottle for travels outside the home)
  • Formula feed
  • Cord blood storage
  • Full vaccinations on schedule
  • Rely heavily on Pediatrician/nursing staff and modern medicines for medical concerns
  • Purchased foods (usually omnivorous)
  • Public Schooling
  • Circumcision 
  • Purchased hygiene and cleaning products
  • Cry it out system
  • Generally full-time working parents
  • Non Baby-Talking


Chewy Moms would be somewhere in the middle of all of that. I consider myself chewy for sure!

Now that we have a broad idea of the categories and what they, generally, entail, let's chat it out. Like I said, I consider myself Chewy. I am a firm believer in modern medicine, especially since my son has needed two surgical procedures to repair minor birth defects. My son would not be alive today if not for the doctors and nurses that supported him during his time in the womb, and in the NICU. When he got home, he needed oxygen support and had severe acid re-flux which prescription medication helped with. We had to formula feed because my son was too premature to breastfeed (though I did pump for three months and he received exclusively breast milk while in the NICU) and his specific premature needs were beyond the scope of my breast milk. We have always been on omnivorous family and are currently raising our son that way as well. If he wants to switch it up when he's older, we're all about helping him with that. Coming from a medically oriented background (Mom, aunts, cousins, and uncles in the medical field) we have always been strong believers in following doctors orders. We made sure that our pediatrician had the same general ideas about parenting and child development that we did and we have trusted his every word since then. On the Crunchy side, we didn't want to circumcise but, eventually, that choice was take out of our hands. We try all natural products when possible (cough medicines, teething tablets, amber necklace for teething, all natural cleaning products) but sometimes good ol' 409 is all that's gonna get that stain out. We don't believe in the Cry It Out method, though we had to ride the line a little when Liam was figuring out how to self sooth. We limit media in the home, making sure there is a balance of creativity time with his toys, books, and playing outside in general. Don't get me wrong, my son has his own profiles on Netflix and on our tablets but we try to keep it to a minimum and only as-needed for distraction in public. I so so so wanted to baby-wear but Liam was having none of it, crying every time we even kind of got him in a sling. Though he did well in the Jeep carrier my aunt sent me, it just wasn't practical for wearing around the house.

So, yeah, I'm somewhere in the middle. Like I said before, most parents who are largely in one direction or the other do it because, through all of their tireless research, it is what made the most sense to them and was most efficient for their family. It made their little hearts sing and that's what it all comes down to.

Deciding how to raise a child is such a deeply personal and introspective process. Once you decide to bring a little life into this world, figuring out how you want that child to live and how you want to help shape their world becomes this monster of a decision. If you sit down and think about it, do all of the research, talk to all of the parents that you know, talk to a religious leader (if that's who you are), talk to your parents, and just sit with it, it can become so overwhelming. It can completely panic a perfectly sane person. In the end, if you can come up with any sort of parenting decision or plan, more power to you. There are insane amounts of positive and negative information for every single item listed above and if all you've got figured out is that you think you might use formula or that you are pretty sure you want to co-sleep then good for you! All of it will have to be dealt with eventually and most of the time no one has a plan. Flying by the seat of your pants and hoping your kid comes out a decent member of society on the other side should be the very definition of parenting.

The most important thing about all of this is that all of the Crunchy, Chewy, and Silky parents that I have talked to agree on one simple fact: We are doing the very best we can at what we think is very best for our children. And, honestly. who can argue with that?

Alas, my apology. To the desperately misunderstood Crunchy, Chewy, and Silky Moms. May we all try are darndest to remember that, no matter the process, we are all trying to do the most difficult job on the face of this planet. And that having to dodge judgement, condemnation, and catty fellow-parents is just not something that was part of that job description when we signed up. So, next time a friend whips out some hummus and peppers for her kiddo while your monster is chowing down on animal crackers and peanut butter, take a second to look at your happy, healthy, thriving children and start a conversation. Who knows, you might just turn out a little Chewy yourself.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Hello again...and a goodbye.

Dear Monster,

              My son, my son, my son....you are 2 1/2 and you are everything everyone has ever told me about a two year old. You are exciting, trying, brilliant, filled to the brim with tantrums, constantly seeking new knowledge, emotional, so so so loving, everything I could have ever hoped for, and my worst nightmare. ;) I love you. I truly do. You look at me with those HUGE blue eyes and that "I'm about to cause a lot of trouble" look and you just light up my whole world. I don't know what I would do without you but there are days that a Mom can dream. (just kidding just kidding) You absolutely fill my soul up, my cup truly runeth over. But with running over there is ALWAYS a mess. With the bad always comes the good and the good is 100% worth every single second of the tantrums and frustrations. You are 2 1/2. You are the definition of chaos but the chaos is everything I dreamed of. Your Mom loves every single bit of you. Don't ever forget that.
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MY READERS!! I have so missed you. I, of course, need to apologize for my absence. I went back to working full time and things just got so crazy so fast and my readers were left in the dust. Well, I am back and better than ever! I have so very much planned for our future together! I'm talking book, wine, and movie reviews (with the help of my brilliant husband, of course), relationship and kiddo advice (giving and receiving!), and GIVEAWAYS!! That's right people! GIVEAWAYS!! Who doesn't love a contest, am I right?

So, let's start with a general update. Things in the Mom & Monster world are changing so quickly that it is quite difficult to keep track of everything. My little Monster is 2 1/2 now which is just mind-boggling. 2 1/2! When did this happen? I feel like I was dealing with acid reflux, oxygen tanks, surgeries, baby clothes, monitors, and baby life in general just yesterday! Now we are looking into preschools, learning shapes, colors, numbers, and animals, working our way into 2T clothes, trying out sentences, learning about affection, and starting to understand who Mommy and Daddy truly are in this world. Every day we are seeing, hearing, or saying something new. I am just in a complete panic about how quickly my tiny son is turning into a big kid. How to keep it all recorded? How to truly enjoy all of the little moments when you are so busy just trying to live through them? Well, that's one of the main reasons that I am crawling back on my hands and knees to my faithful readers. You guys always help me enjoy and appreciate the little moments and coming here, to my "blog home", is my favorite way to keep track of it all. Are you ready for my favorite picture so far? Here ya go guys!



This is just my absolute favorite. My little Monster is a complete crack up. He adores making people laugh and will do just about anything to get you to crack a smile. Even during his worst tantrums and most ridiculous moments if you even show a hint of a smile he will give you a sly little look and start laughing with you. I have always said that the most important thing that I look for when it comes to the people that I have in my life is that they can smile and laugh and find some small amount of humor through even the most difficult of times. If you can't laugh, if you can't find hope, if you can't push past the overwhelming negative, then life is gonna be pretty bleak. My son is already learning that laughing is easier than crying and everyone ends up better for the laughing. What an awesome tool he's got going, huh?

Speaking of laughing and trying to find some happiness through the bad times, today was Liam's Nanny's last day. I am going down to part time at work and she is starting school and the timing was just right for us both to take a little step sideways. She has become one of my very best friends so she will obviously still be a vital part of my son's life, she will just move from Miss Candy to Auntie Candy. he he he. But, honestly, it will be different. When she comes over it will be as a friend and Liam won't have entire days that are spent being crazy and learning weird things with Miss Candy. So, I ask you, how do you do this? How do you go from talking for hours with someone about a shared experience, bonding over "dryer time" and "car duty" to telling her about all of the updates, new discoveries, and crazy times. Our amazing Nanny has been with us since just after Liam came home from the hospital. For two years, every Monday and Wednesday, her little self showed up at our house and spent the entire day loving the hell out of our son. She has been there for every single tooth, every single roll and step, every new word, every haircut, every everything! There is not a single thing that she cannot tell you about my son. She could quote you hours upon hours of medicine doses and post-op concerns. She knows every new freckle or boo-boo. She's kissed away countless ouchies and hugged out tons of bad days. She's driven through snow storms, melted in her car on the way to my house during horrible heat waves, downed gallons of NyQuil and vitamin C so she could get over colds so she could spend time with my little son. Hardly ever called in sick. Took him for overnights. Didn't complain (too badly) when the schedule changed at the last minute. Accepted every new crazy thing or weird rule we had for every single new thing Liam was trying. When it comes right down to it, she has been a miracle. Sean and I have been so freaking blessed to have her. Letting us all move forward in different directions has been one of the hardest, most heart-wrenching decisions we've ever had to make. In the end, it is going to be good for everyone all around. But, man........there are just no words. Any help or advice is welcome here!

Alright, so, here is a big thank you to all of the amazing Nannies out there and a huge reminder to families that have those amazing Nannies as part of their clan. It is rare that someone can walk into your life and becomes truly part of the family. It is not always easy. There is always a learning curve. But if you find someone that fits, run with it! Enjoy them and welcome the new family member with open arms and a good paycheck ;)

To wrap it all up, how many of you guys have or are thinking about welcoming a Nanny into your fold? Concerns? Questions? Any and all are welcome. Be honest. Get it out. If you never ask, you'll never know!

*Cheers* To Candice, to my family, to my new and exciting future as a part-time stay at home Mommy, and to my astonishingly loyal readers. Thanks for the patience and the time off. See ya soon!






Saturday, December 8, 2012

Easy weight loss and stretch mark reduction...no, really!

Dear Monster,

   I will always say that I am lucky because I only gained 20lbs while I was pregnant with you. However, only 2lbs 7oz of that was actually you! So, after you were born I had some work to do. Loooots of work to do. I'm back to a little less than my pre-pregnancy weight so I'm happy with how I look but my post pregnancy body was NOT something I was warned about. In the end, you're here, you're happy and you're healthy and I would give up my flawless skin and skinny hips for that over and over and over again! Love you HoneyBee!
~~~

POST PREGNANCY WEIGHT!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! Tack onto that the struggles with postpartum depression, stretch marks, and trying to find a desperate moment to sleep...*sigh* Life as a brand new Mom is not what the books and stories make it out to be. Go to google, go to Pinterest, go to the library and there are millions upon million of ideas, tips, and recommendations for how to lose the extra pounds and get back to happy and healthy. I have tried all of them! Diets, work outs, lotions, meditation, naps, reading, writing, talking, quiet moments, bah! Nothing worked 100%.

Well, today I am here to help with TWO things. Weight, and stretch marks! Don't fret, we'll get to the mental health on another day but I find it is easier to feel good on the inside when you are feeling better on the outside. Keep in mind that no woman should ever be ashamed of her stretch marks. It is tangible evidence of just how bad ass our female bodies are. I mean, come on, WE DUPLICATE! If the only evidence of our amazing duplication is that our wonderful curves are a little bit more enhanced and our skin stretches just a little, I think we're still doing pretty damn well!

Let's start with stretch marks! If they are just bothering you to the point of distraction, I have a solution for you that might actually work. I have tried Lanolin, Cocoa Butter, Vitamin E, A&D Ointment, massage therapy...the list goes on and on and on. Through all of this I have found ONE product that works. It made my stretch marks completely disappear! I came upon it through one of my favorite people in the whole world, Miss Lacey, a best friend of mine! We just grabbed one of the massage bars by chance and holy guacamole, was I surprised! Here it is ladies:


You can purchase this wonderful piece of heaven at any Lush (<~ that link will take you to the Store Locator!) location or you can purchase it online. I don't know why it works, but it did for me. You can't even see my stretch marks! The second best part?? It has drastically reduced my scar from my C-section! It wasn't a beast to begin with but it has brought it down to practically nothing! Even better? It's happened over the last month! AHHH! I love this freaking thing! So, give it a try, see if you like it. Oooo...and it smells like cinnamon! My husband follows me are the house smelling me and calling me his "Cinnamon Wife" for 12 hours after I use this thing! On the site there is a video that explains how to use it, there is a description of what's in it and why, and you can have it in your hot little hand in one week for approximately $17 with shipping! The bar itself is around $11 if you buy it in stores. Oh, and by the way, it lasts f-o-r-e-v-e-r!!

Now that we're working on that problem, lets move onto getting that baby weight off! I'm going to be completely honest with you here...working out and getting back into shape was on the absolute bottom of my worry list post-pregnancy. Finding time between putting bottles together, sleeping, playing, working, doctor's appointments, physical therapy appointments, and living in general was just not even a possibility. So, after trying a ton of different work outs and work our regimens I came to the conclusion that I had one basic problem: Liam. Anytime I would try to work out or go for a simple walk Liam needed or wanted something different and Mommy's ajenda was no longer a possibility. My solution? INCLUDE THE MONSTER! How simple is that? He works great as weight resistance and he has tons of fun sitting with me and flying through the air! Plus, he is constantly growing so I am always being challenged! No plateauing for me! Are you ready for some simple work outs that include your kiddo?? Master Tip: Do these workouts around an hour after your kiddo eats. Don't do it right before food time and absolutely DO NOT do them right after! Vomit city is coming your way if you do. Ha ha ha

Here we go! (Preface: Sorry about the pictures, I'm not a professional and we had to get them while Liam was in a good mood which is rough right now because he is teething and he got vaccines yesterday! Eek!)

Warm up: Baby Dancing! Easy way to get your body warmed up and get you up and moving! Grab your monster (in any position), clench those glutes and walk around your house. Take big steps, take small steps, bounce your monster, just move around in general! You can do this for about 5 minutes.



Full Body Warm Up: Baby Grabs! This generally only works if your monster can stand but you may be able to modify it if you set your little one in a bouncer or swing in front of you. 1) Stand your kiddo up in front of you, and squat down (keep that back straight and don't let your knees go beyond the tip of your toes). 2) Lift your kiddo up so that your arms are straight out in front of you 3) Lift them above your head 4) Hold for a count of three. 4) Slowly lower back down following the same path. If this is your first real attempt at working out you will only want to do about 3 of these to start. You can work up to more as your body re-adapts to true physical activity.




Leg Lowers: 1) Lay flat on your back with your knees straight over your hips and your lower legs parallel to the ground. 2) Lay your kiddo across your lower legs 3) Lower your knees to your chest and lift your shoulders, neck, and head off the floor (Keep that chin up!) 4) Hold for a count of three. 5) Slowly return to the original position. Again, you may only want to do a few of these the first couple of times you do this. Your abs will HATE you tomorrow!




Baby Crunches: I find this one is a little easier for me if I am able to lightly rest my feet on something like the couch or a chair. This is one of Liam's favorites. Master Tip: Give your kiddo a couple of toys to keep him/her busy. He/She is mainly just sitting and watching your face for this one! 1) Stay in your Leg Lowering position but move your monster to sit on your stomach (this helps to remind you to keep your pelvis on the floor and Liam loves it when my abs flex and he moves around because of it!) 2) With your fingertips at the base of your skull for minor support use your abs to bring your upper chest, neck, and head up to say HI to your kiddo (Keep that chin up off your chest!!) 3) Hold for a count of three. 4) Slowly lower back to your original position. Your abs will hate you for this one too!! Only do a few!



Baby Lunges: Keep that toy in your kiddos hands! You'll need it for this one too! 1) Start with your monster in your arms with your feet together and your back straight in a standing position. 2) Lunge forward making sure the knee of your lunging leg in line with the tips of your toes 3) Hold for a count of two. 3) Moving forward, return to your standing position. 4) Repeat with your other leg. 5) Moving forward, return to your standing position. Try to do 3 full sets!



Cool Down: Baby Dancing! Relax and cool down with some more baby dancing. Move slower and with more intention while doing this for a cool down. OH, and you don't have to clench your glutes for this one!



There you have it! I went from 162 to 137 just doing this and watching my calorie intake. It's simple and it lets you have some quality time with your monster. I hope these simple tips can make being a new Mommy even just a little bit easier! Remember you have to love yourself to love others!

Do you have any awesome tips for working out or getting rid of those silly stretch marks? We'd love to hear them!

Happy Saturday!