Support for a Formula Feeding Mommy!

Dear Monster,

  As I'm writing this blog it is my goal that you have the full story on everything that happened in your life. So, for your information, you are a FORMULA FED BABY! You are happy, you are healthy, your doctors and nurses have all loved you, you've had only one diaper rash, your reflux (from being born prematurely- we'll discuss this in a later blog) is getting much better, and you are developing normally. You love to eat! You're a little grumpy about it right now because you're teething, but you smile and chatter at us while you eat. Formula feeding is the very best choice for you my baby boy. We wouldn't do it otherwise.
~~

Good afternoon readers! Remember that whole agreement we had in the first blog I posted? Remember how I said that my opinion was MY opinion and I would love it if you shared said opinion but if you don't, it's completely fine too? Well, I'm gonna be testing the strength of our agreement today. So, thank you in advance for reading with an open-mind and discussing your opinions with me!

Due to my son being in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) for almost 2 months, I had an incredibly difficult time providing breast milk for him. I pumped, I "power pumped", I changed my diet, I took supplements, I rested until I just couldn't take it anymore, I did all of the "relaxation techniques" that I could possibly find...I made the most valiant of efforts. What I found was that, without having my son to physically breastfeed, my body shut down on me. Lucky for us, I had pumped enough to provide breast milk for him during the most vital and early times of his life.

So, needless to say, Liam is now a formula fed child. He has to have Similac NeoSure formula (of course this is the most expensive formula ever!) and he goes through a can every 3 days or so. We know that the speed that he goes through formula will only increase and we are prepared for that, though it will be tough at times. Cost has been a struggle throughout. Another struggle we have had to work through was my guilt. I have no reason to feel guilty, none at all. But I went through a sort of mourning process when I realized that I would not be able to breastfeed my son. I HATED my pump (not the actual pump, as it was provided for us by our amazing friends Jonathan and Tiffany. It was, truly, an amazing pump!). I glared at it, mumbled obscenities under my breath at it, and longed for the days that I would no longer need to use it. But my hope was that I wouldn't need to use it because I would be feeding my son the way nature dictated I should, the way I had originally planned. Well, that is just not how it turned out. Over time, and with the support of my amazing husband, family, and friends I was able to come to terms with the fact that I would need to bottle feed Liam. This was not an easy thing to come to terms with and if you are struggling with it, please please please see your doctor or at least talk to someone!

Now that I am on the other side of things I am looking back, and I'm angry. I'm upset because there is little to no support for formula feeding Mommies. In fact, political and cultural rhetoric would have you believe that you are less of a mother, that you are selfish in your choice to formula feed, and that you are damaging your child in so very many unseen ways by giving them formula vs breast milk. As a formula feeding mother, it is important to remember that the most important thing you can do for your baby is love and nurture them. That includes feeding them in the way that you are comfortable with and the way that you and your pediatrician see as the best for you, your family, and your child. I think that it's important that some people are reminded that promoting breastfeeding as being best is fine, but disparaging mothers who bottle feed is not!

SO! Here are some super positive things about formula/bottle feeding the little monster in your life:

* In many situations it is important for some mother's to know exactly how much their baby is receiving at each feeding. Formula/Bottle feeding allows for exact measurements of calories, vitamins and minerals which allows proper tracking for growth via intake.

*Foods, medications, or physical condition in the mother are no longer a concern. If you're trying to get a little healthier and are looking into a diet, if you are formula feeding, you can start as early as 6 weeks post-pregnancy. Also, formula feeding allows for a wider range of options when it comes to birth control, anti-depressant and other medications, and foods in general.

*The entire family becomes intimately involved in all aspects of the baby's care. This is one bullet point that I have personal experience with. I adore that my husband is getting to create such an amazing bond with Liam through their feeding times. Liam loves eye contact while he is eating and I just cannot get enough of watching Liam, and Sean just stare at each other and communicate in that Father/Son way. I'm looking forward to friends, and family being able to see that special side of Liam as they are able to feed him as well!

*Mother gets more rest. This is one of my favorites! While I was pumping I was stressed to the max. I was running on fumes, and constantly on the edge of exhaustion. This is not healthy, does NOT help with production, and promotes a stressful household. In our case, I truly struggled mentally and physically during this time. Now that I can get more rest, I have more energy for Liam, my marriage, my friends, my family, and my work.

*Better mental health all around. As mothers we sometimes forget that we are not the only people going through this difficult time. The more stressed we get, the more stressed everyone gets. This is just not healthy for anyone. Formula feeding, I believe, has had a very positive impact on my marriage and my relationships with the people around me.

*You will need to feed less often as formula is less readily digested by baby. Because it isn't from the body, like breast milk, it takes longer for the body to process formula. This is not a BAD thing, it is just different from breastfeeding. I find that Liam can go 4 hours between feedings instead of the only 3 hours he could go with breast milk. This makes nap time, cleaning, and husband time much easier to obtain! Again, a restful, non-stressful house is a happy house!

*Specificity of formulas now. I love Liam's Similac NeoSure. I am 100% positive that my body could not, in any way, make something as healthy and nutritious for our son as his formula. There are formulas for every need a child can come up with. Anemia, Colic, Allergies, Sensitive Stomach, the list goes on and on. Can you imagine trying to breastfeed a child that was intolerant of the proteins in milk?? Fun Fact: Iron-fortified infant formulas have actually been credited for the declining incidence of anemia in infants. (!!)

*Bottles that work with baby. Studies have shown that some infants are completely intolerant of the position they need to be in to breastfeed. This is another area where formula/bottle feeding steps in to save the day! With bottle feeding you can find a position and angle that help your little one be content while eating, which is so much more important to healthy growth than we give credit to. Liam had terrible gas pain caused by using straight bottles that wouldn't vent properly. A very good friend of mine over at The Land of Lou introduced me to the idea of the Playtex VentAire System and it saved us! The fact that there are so very many products out there for Formula/Bottle feeding Mommies makes the transition that much easier for your little one.

*"Comfort" in public. Though I personally have no issue with breast feeding in public (as long as you are tasteful about it), many mothers are made to feel uncomfortable about it. This is WRONG but it is,
unfortunately, happening. Bottle feeding helps some mothers feel more comfortable while out in public places.

*And last but, most definitely, not least....Lovemaking! Sex can sometimes be difficult for the breastfeeding woman because the hormonal changes associated with lactation leaves you a little, shall we say, dry. In addition, breastfeeding can lead to sore nipples and leaky breasts, which are not conducive to lovemaking. A bottle feeding Momma should not have these problems. You also have the added benefit of being able to choose the contraception of your choice (as mentioned above). A breastfeeding mother cannot take the oral pill as its hormones will be passed on to baby through her breast milk, whereas a formula feeding Momma can protect herself with the pill if she chooses.

So, now they we're feeling a little better about Formula/Bottle feeding, let's talk about a couple of myths!

Myths:

*Bottle feeding makes it harder to bond with a baby.
FALSE! Babies have an instinctive desire to bond with their parents. Spending time together is what encourages bonding.

*Formula X can make my baby smarter.
FALSE! There is no research that suggests formula provides any advantages OR disadvantages when compared to breast milk in improving intelligence.

*Low-iron formula reduces constipation.
FALSE! Your baby needs iron to build red blood cells, so low-iron formula should be avoided unless prescribed by a doctor. It's the added digestion time for formula that causes gas and constipation, but these things can easily be managed.

*Mothers who bottle feed are inadequate.
FALSE! There are a host of reasons why a mother may need to bottle feed. Some babies simply cannot take breast milk, and some mothers simply cannot provide milk for physical or medical reasons. In these cases, bottle feeding is the best choice.

While I was struggling with Formula Feeding I had little to no resources that helped me through it. So, I went online and found a couple jumping off points for you! Here are a couple of sites that I have found that have helped me:

*http://www.bottle-feeding-baby.com/
*http://www.cafemom.com/group/1287 (<~ This is a forum group on an amazing site called CafeMom)
*https://similac.com/

My goal with this post is to boost up Mommies who are making the tough choice to Formula/Bottle Feed, and to help people that haven't had to make this difficult choice understand that there truly are positives when it comes too Formula/Bottle feeding. I hope I've been able to do that!

Have an excellent rest of your Wednesday, and I hope your silent moments are going well!