If I knew then...

Dear Monster,

   Someday, I am going to look at you and have a sudden and heart breaking realization that you are an adult and you don't need me to give hugs every day, kiss boo-bos, cut meat, or explain how the world works. I hope that I am strong enough to truly understand this moment. I hope I am strong enough to tell you that you are an amazing human being, kiss your cheek, and send you on your way. One thing I can GUARANTEE is that, even if I am strong enough to do those things in front of you, I am going to cry like a baby the minute your back is turned. I love you, Son.
~~~

Hello again readers! Sorry for the laps in the blogs but, man, it has been a rough couple of weeks. I had a couple of weeks that sent me into overtime at work, a presentation due for my Leadership Development Team at work, we helped celebrate Mr. Jonah (from In the Land of Lou)'s first birthday (though we had to leave early which just about killed us), I visited my Mom while she was evacuated from her home due to fires, and I just HAD to enjoy some mommy/wife time. ;) Life has definitely been pretty intense lately but, believe it or not, I wouldn't wish it any other way.

Developments for our little Monster have been coming rapidly lately. He's mobile now! He is crawling like it is his JOB! We have chosen to not "baby proof" our home. After discussing it with several parents, we think it will be easier to teach Liam that it is not okay to touch certain things and why. Putting locks and blocks up is PERFECTLY okay but we began to wonder what would happen if we went to a friend's home and they had no reason to baby proof their home. How would we protect Liam then? We think it best to help Liam just avoid the situations in general, on his own. It has been difficult and we have a long road ahead of us, but we think it is the best option for our family. On top of crawling, Liam has started babbling in a way that sounds like a drunk mumbling a sentence. We're pretty sure that his first word will be "DaDa". He loves his Daddy so stinking much! He is eating stage 3 foods now. (For those of you that don't have to know why stage 1 and stage 3 are so different: stage 3 foods are more chunky. ;) He is pulling to stand, which is insane. Watching him go from laying down to standing just completely fascinates me! We still have only 2 teeth but we're pretty sure our top two teeth will be coming in soon. Want a few photo updates? Of course you do!

Digging paper out of Liam's mouth

He loves his papa

Making a mess of Daddy's movies

Rare and wonderful cuddle time

Standing with his drum

Pig face in the pack and play ;)

Getting kisses from the puppy

So, now that our update is all done, it's time to get serious. The reason for my blog tonight hails back to a few weeks ago when I had some guest bloggers on discussing adulthood and some of the things that they wish they have known back in the day. I've had several requests regarding my version of the guest blogs so I figured I should probably deliver on my side of the bargain. ;)

I'll start with the moment I KNEW I was an adult. I guess the answer to this is that I still don't, technically, feel like I am an adult. I have bought and sold a home, bought and sold several cars, gotten married, moved to the "big city", chosen my career, given birth to a child, and made any number of "adult" decisions but... I just don't quite feel like I'm there yet. I still have my immature moments, I still need others to hold me up at times, I still panic when I think my closest friends are upset with me, I laugh at fart jokes, I play video games, and I am totally okay with explaining away "lazy days". I have been through some of the most difficult things life would dare to throw at someone and came out okay in the end. I have found my own answers to many of life's "big questions" and I am comfortable with who I am have become and who I will be in the future. However, as I look around, I realize that I have so many wonderful and strong examples of adult women around me that I don't feel like I am quite there yet. I think I have more to learn and I know that I have a lot of growing to do. I'm okay with saying that I am maturing but I am, in no way, a full blown adult... yet. I don't know what my mile markers are or will be for actually BECOMING an adult, but I think I'll know when it happens. And, believe me, you'll be the first to know.


When it comes to my 10 "If I Knew Then What I Know Now" statements...whew...these were rough. How do you pick only 10?? I would go back and tell my younger self so very many things. I can't even count them. Bah! So, for better or worse, here is my list:

1. If I Knew Then What I Know Now, I would have asked my aunt to reschedule her surgery.

2. If I Knew Then What I Know Now, I would have gone to Bel-Rae, gotten my CVT, and just been done with it.

3. If I Knew Then What I Know Now, I would have had my uterus tested further before attempting to have a child. (Not that I wouldn't have still tried but it might have gone differently for everyone)

4. If I Knew Then What I Know Now, I wouldn't have fought my Mom so much about moving to Colorado. I made her life miserable for SO long. I miss my friends and life in Washington, but things are pretty amazing now.

5. If I Knew Then What I Know Now, I would never ever ever ever ever talk to a certain someone about relationships PERIOD. Everyone else's life is not my business. I have this horrible drive to help people and hold their hand through rough moments but I need to just stop.

6. If I Knew Then What I Know Now, I would have started watching Parks and Recreation sooner. (This is a lame one but I really do love this show and I judged it too soon!)

7. If I Knew Then What I Know Now, I might have thought a third time before moving to Denver. We were so overwhelmed by so very many things and moving seemed like the best choice. I don't know that I would have changed anything, and I'm not saying that we didn't thoroughly think every possible thing through, but I would have sat down for maybe another hour or so to think about it......just in case.

8. If I Knew Then What I Know Now, I would have just TALKED to my husband. So many of our marital troubles could have been completely avoided if I had just talked to Sean. How ridiculous is that?

9. If I Knew Then What I Know Now, I would have rented a vehicle to go to freaking Indiana in the middle of the freaking summer. *sigh* So damn hot!

10. If I Knew Then What I Know Now, I don't know that I would change a damn thing. My life is pretty amazing right now and I don't know if it would have turned out this way if I hadn't gone through each and every single moment of it. I just don't know....

So, there is my list. I'd love to hear your lists and, while you're at it, when did you know you were an adult?? What momentous milestones have defined your life? Tell me all about it! I can't wait to hear from you!